The Criminal Justice System in Canada has neglected violence towards women long enough. While there are laws that are specifically created to prohibit assault and sexual assault, there are also policies and procedures that work against bringing justice to those who are victims of assault-particularly sexually assault.
It is ridiculously difficult to find justice if you are raped, unless you are the perfect victim: one who was virginal, chaste and sweetly innocent, prior to being brutally attacked by an assailant who causes measurable physical harm and leaves behind forensic evidence. The perfect victim must also remember to run straight to the hospital to seek help, to file a report straight away, and to never contact with their assailant again.
Our current system is one of re-victimization, in which the few women who come forward are subjected to disbelief, judgment, interrogations, accusations, shaming, silencing and in the end still are unlikely to see their assailant placed behind bars.
If you are kinky, forget it. For those involved in any sort of 'alternative' lifestyle or activity, such as BDSM, Swinging, Polyamory, “kink” and so on, although files are opened and statements are taken, all too often the reward for braving the re-victimization of reporting intimate violence, is to be told that the charges will not be pressed, as the courts are unprepared to hear about BDSM, that consent in the context of these 'alternative' sexualities is difficult to understand.
Even when individuals do come forward to the police, reporting physcial, sexual and emotional abuse, they are likely to face stigmatization and unlikely to find justice. In a local study (Sumka 2016) victims reported that their cases were turned away by the crown, due to the inability of the criminal courts to comprehend consent in a BDSM context.
The BDSM community is not a few dozen people hiding in basements. It is comprised of adults of all ages, ethnicities, backgrounds, education and occupations. It is 25-50% of people that you know. There are workshops, socials, conventions in which people meet, learn, and explore various aspects of sexuality. There is a social network very similar to Facebook that is dedicated to these so called 'kinky' people. Dungeon events are held in this very city, very much in the open. Halls are rented, banquet rooms booked, catering arranged, and convention centres used.
It is estimated that between 100,000 and 200,000 adults between the ages of 21 and 59, here in the greater Edmonton area, engage in what could be termed as “kinky”, “alternative” or “BDSM” activities and/or relationships. These numbers are based on the Kinsey institute (which estimates that 25% of adults in that age bracket enjoy kinky activities) and Joyal & Carpenter 2016 (who completed a study in Quebec and found that closer to 45-55% of adults are “kinky”). With many studies reporting that roughly 25% of adult women will experience rape and 45% will experience Intimate Partner Violence, this means that our current policies are sending a very clear message to 45,000-90,000 women of the Edmonton Area, that their right to live their lives as sexually autonomous beings, free from assault of their person, is not being upheld, due to their sexual choices. These policies put the burden of their assaults upon the victim, for daring to choose to engage in sexual activities such as BDSM, under the guise that consent in these instances is too difficult to understand for the court system.
I disagree that consent is more difficult to understand from a BDSM context. I have never been asked by a non-kink partner what boundaries I have, what limitations I wish to put on our encounter, and I have yet to NOT have been asked the same by a BDSM partner.
Consent, you see, is understood as what differentiates kinky fun from assault. In the majority of BDSM communities, spaces, groups and conventions, Consent is NOT murky. SAFE SANE CONSENSUAL, RISK AWARE CONSENSUAL KINK are two common frameworks used in the BDSM community.
The generalized culture of BDSM, here and around the globe, includes active consent of one's partners. Only activities agreed to are engaged in, no additional activities are to be added. Everything is agreed to in advance. Checking in with one's partner(s) during an activity is recommended. These are some of the common practices in BDSM and other alternative communities that specifically address consent. There are negotiations, safe-words and discussions about boundaries.
Yet, the court is so embarrassed by the very idea that some consenting adults might choose to engage in spanking, flogging, or bondage, that if one is assaulted while engaging in these things, justice is denied to them. This refusal to educate the courts regarding these practices leaves vulnerable the many individuals who choose to explore these activities and lifestyles. Victims are assured that their right to their own body is superseded by the court's embarrassment over sexuality that does not resemble their own.
Worse, the blatant lack of accountability for assault and sexual assault in the BDSM community has sent a clear message to those who thrive on abusing others: Within the BDSM community they can explore their criminal deviance freely, without fear of reprisal. Every case turned away is an advertisement to those who enjoy beating, abusing and raping women “Hide here! The courts will not punish you!”
Many organizations are following the court's example. Without an arrest being made many will not prohibit (ban) these individuals from events. Who can blame them? If the CJS is afraid to stand up to these predators, how can we expect individuals to stand up to them?
I am here, speaking on behalf of myself as a victim of assault in the BDSM Community. I am here speaking as a woman, as a person who has the right to seek out consensual sexual experiences that have meaning for me, without giving up my right to being free of assault, molestation, harassment and rape.
