I give, but you can't take

I give-but you can't take.

Warning this is a bit of a rant

I am venting about the very few individuals that seem to feel entitled to my time, my friendship, or my body.
I give my time to the community on many levels, when I can and where my Sir and I see fit. I try to ensure that I am adding value to the community, not just sucking up all that it has to offer for my own gratification.
I gift my time to many things, from volunteering at events to sharing my time and knowledge in other ways.
You can't take my time from me as you see fit.
I give my knowledge (what little I have) in workshops, one on one, via conversations, videos, pamplets, stickies, you name it. Demanding I mentor you is not going to work. Mentoring is a relationship and relationships cannot be forced.
I love to play. I give of myself to those I play with. You cannot play with me unless I also want to play with you. My not wanting to play with you is not an insult. I have the right to form my own relationships without worrying about your ego.
I enjoy meeting people. I accept friendings from those I have met or share a passion with. Even if you are one of my Fetlife Friends, you cannot force your way into being my intimate friend. I have the right to keep you in the 'acquaintance zone' if I don't feel the connection. You have the right not not feel the same about me that I feel about you.
I give passion freely to those I am intimate with. You cannot take that passion, it requires trust, connection, love. These things do not form out of guilt, manipulation, lies or force.
I give touch, cuddles, caring and support to those I care about. You can demand this, but it won't be given to you unless I am comfortable touching you, cuddling you, and I care about you.
I don't demand that you love, hug, fuck, touch, teach, play with, demo for or hang out with me, don't expect me to do this with you.
I am glad that there are so few that need to have this spelled out. The majority of those I meet in the community are amazing at boundaries and communication-I love all that I have learned so far while on this journey.
xoxo

Rope Fun

My dear pet brought me a photo.  It was a lovely picture of a lady who was tied up in a very seductive and vulnerable pose, with her legs secured along a pole with a ladder tie.  The model in the photo is very flexible and was able to do the splits.

Tie me?

She asked, her voice quiet and her eyes all soft the way she gets when she is thinking of rope.

Like this?

She held the photo up and I studied it for a moment. Hmm...

Pet, do you think you can do this position? (grin) I am game to tie you in it regardless, but...

We modified the tie of course, and she is twice as lovely than the model, her soft whimper moans as the rope pulls her into the shape I choose; her delightful sassy nature as she grabs her foot and pulls more, encouraging me, challenging me, daring me; Her lips part with that rope drunk feeling as the I gather the unused ends of the rope and spill them onto her, letting them slither over her skin.

She is such a gem, this amazing lady who puts herself in my hands, giving me all her joy, all her glee, all her dreamy sighs, sounds, motions...

Thank you pet.

Sex Postive Centre In Edmonton: Let's Talk about this!

I posted this on Fetlife and want to share it here for my non fetlife friends.

Let's Talk about Our DREAM of Sex Positive Spaces in Edmonton

Edit 1

When we are talking about sex positive spaces, this is NOT limited to being able to have sex on the premises. The idea is to come up with a space in which we can be supportive of sex positivity (positive attitudes regarding sexuality), offer a safe space for events to groups that are often under served (such as the transgender community), inclusive education and workshops-AND for some events have sex permitted on the premisses. This is about making room for persons who are willing to support the effort with their presence and by following the rules required in order to stay open. This post originally focused on the Sex aspect to encourage a dialogue regarding what rules to use, what we wish to see for stations and play ability. PLEASE DO NOT limit this conversation to one about fucking only. Weigh in. What do YOU want to see? Exclusive nights for certain groups? Small meeting rooms for rent? Strict policy about being a safe space? Inclusive policies? Do tell.

Edit 2

If you have specific concerns regarding this topic, and do not wish to post here, feel free to pm me.
Let us imagine that we ended up with our very own Sex Positive Center here in Edmonton. That it would be the place we envision when we are wishing that our local dungeons permitted sexual contact.

Original Post

What would this space need to have in order to best serve our community, our needs and our perverted desires?
Would it offer workshops? Be large enough for the various and sundry groups to hold their meets and events? Hidden in the woods? Right in the City?
Would there be showers? Watersports? Beds? Dungeon furniture? Needle areas? A kitchen? Rope areas? Furry play area? Littles Rooms? Would it be large and open, or have areas for specific things that are separated from the others?
Would there be a bar? Food Service?
What sort of Theme Events would you want to see? Just BDSM all the way? Furry Nights? Leather Nights? Queer Nights? Nights for partners only? (including trios), Karaoke? Wet T's? Spankolympics? Rope only nights?
What rules would you want to see remain in place (or be added).
What would it need to include for you to feel welcome?
Are there groups who are unable to flourish due to the lack of a safe and welcoming space?
Share your vision, share your concerns, your thoughts, worries, dreams and wisdom.

That Moment

That Moment when..

...when everyone involved is so focused on the intense scene they are in that the only sounds are harsh breathing, nearly silent gasps, the occasional hot whimper moan and that unique crack as cane meets skin... the tension builds, the air seems to gain weight and suddenly-
CRACK
- and she giggles (no one knows why) in such an infectious way that all of us are giggling, draped over her, shaking with mirth, together.
That moment when life feels pretty fucking perfect.

JBO Jute Rope: WARNING Allergies and Toxicities

ute Rope: WARNING Allergies & Toxicities

by aropedeevil  

I came across a post on Fetlife in which the poster was wondering if anyone has discovered they are allergic to Jute. Naturally I was alarmed, as Jute is a natural fiber that is preferred by many riggers for shibari and suspension, yours truly included.
I use jute and hemp, depending on who I am rigging, what type of tie I am doing and my mood. My jute comes from M0co and I am very happy with it.
In the comments of the posting there was a link to this article, regarding JUTE and alelrgies:
http://bonesandrope.com/2014/08/15/are-you-allergic…
written by MissBones
Read it, it is well worth the read. Basically jute is treated with an oil that is "which is an aqueous emulsion derived from crude oil for spraying over jute fibers in order to soften them for the manufacture of jute textiles" and this oil is toxic. The article links several studies that looked into the impact of this oil on health. Not cool.
Thankfully, my rope is made by m0co and he spins his rope himself, which means they are jto free.
So... If you get around jute and start experiencing allergy like symptoms or skin reactions, you may be using jute that has been treated with jto.
happy rigging
Aropedeevil

Shibari? Kinbaku? Rope Bondage? Which is it?

Shibari? Kinbaku? Rope Bondage? Which is it?

by aropedeevil

Disclaimer

I am not an expert in Japan, Rope, or any such. I am just a lady who loves the feel of rope in her hands, and when given free reign is passionate about applying rope to a bondage scene with a partner she connects with.
I love rope. Part of what fascinates me is the many, MANY different ways to use rope as bondage, from purely "cowboy", to "people macrame" to a Japanese orientated style. Those different styles and methods come with their own well debated and much debated explanations and definitions. My definitions are NOT the one TWUE way to define these, but reflect my own perspective.

My take on the various styles:

Rope Bondage: Using rope to restrain someone.
Functional Bondage: This works for the purpose it was intended, is not typically designed to look pretty.
Japanese Bondage A bondage style that originated in Japan and has been adapted by riggers in other countries into what many now label as Shibari.
Shibari: A style of rope bondage that looks pretty, is functional and originates from Japanese style rope bondage.
Kinbaku: Shibari with an emotional connection between the parties, creating an energy within the rope bondage scene.
Ichinawa: Kinbaku done with one rope, with the focus being on using the rope to connect, rather than on completing a specific tie.
People Macrame: Rope ties that use decorative knots and twists to create attractive harnesses, rope clothing, rope accessories that can be worn as decoration.
Cowboy Bondage: functional rope ties used for restraint that are not designed to be attractive and are fast and quick.
Predicament Bondage Ties in which the function is to create a predicament.
Suspension Bondage This is any tie in which a person is partially or fully suspended with rope. This can be done in various styles.
This is not an inclusive list. There are many more styles out there, many more labels. Please do feel free to add yours in the comments.

Thursday Jan 8 2015

It's been a great year so far!! I have a couple new videos up on youtube, and Aropedeevil's corner is busy with so many rope enthusiasts that I am beyond thrilled.

I spend a huge chunk of time today practicing rope.  It has been too long since I just tied from a book, learning to break down someone else's work and see it come to life on a real person.  I have been doing so much teaching and so many sessions where the bottom expects intensity that practice has been missing.

Thanks to a lovely volunteer I was able to really sink into my rope studies..
 I practiced some chest harnesses from my book of five ropes, and then did some improv ties, just because. 

 

I love adding fingers into the tie.  This was rather sloppily done, but fun regardless.

 This was done to demonstrate the variation to allow for a bottom who cannot pull their shoulders back.  We had already tied this tie with the hands clasped at upper forearm.

 This is still one of my favorites.  I am very impressed by CB's flexibility!

 I love adding that upper row to this chest tie.  It changes it from crisp strait lines to that sexy y wrap.  Love it.

 It also provides a beautiful frame for these lovely breasts.

And some sleeves, as arm ladders are just sexy. 
Man I love rope!!!



For Rope class today we did our drills, talked about negotiating, then did some trust exercises.  We tied slower, and more connected to our bottom.  We practiced dragging them all over, did a variation of the chest tie (adding in hands) and then did the pocket sling. 

You guys rock.