About Good Girls

I am a good girl!

In order for anyone to understand that we need to have some understanding on what that means to me. Some of you feminists are likely upset over my choice of language.  I understand that.  Too bad. :)

I am a good girl.  I do my chores, I meet my responsibilities and try to be self aware.  I keep my house clean, I take care of myself.  I pay my bills.  I work hard and try not to judge.
See? I am a good girl. I love being female.  I do not agree with the law treating me as leasser because of it, nor with being treated with discrimination, hatred, disrespect and dismissal just because I have a vagina rather than a penis. What I don't understand, however, is how the woman's right movement took away the dignity and honor of having a female body and being proud of my femininity. This body allowed me to bring three wonderful lives into the world, this body is part of who I am but in no way is the totality of who I am.

 I am not ashamed of my sexuality, my intelligence nor of my integrity.  If I can remain assertive in the face of societal sexism, legal sexism but have to cower in the face of feminist sexism, wherefore is the gain?

 I like people who are strong in character.  I am not ashamed of that either. I have high expectations of myself, and love to have people around me that are assertive (not aggressive) and will help me to keep raising that bar.  I want to grow!!  Even when it is uncomfortable and challenges my belief in who I am-I want to grow.

To me, that is a good girl.  It is all about being good with who you are, knowing that there is room to grow and reaching for it.  Having boundaries that are flexible enough to allow for the benefits of intimacy but strong enough to maintain mental and physical wellbeing.

Being a good girl is not about obedience, or putting up with people treating you poorly.  It is not about being polite.  It is certainly not about never exploring sexually, intellectually or physically.  Being a good girl means I try to balance my responsibilities and still have my needs met.  That I can accept the cherishing of others, ask for help, apologize for wrong doing, and try for compassion instead of being defensive.

Being good is being happy without infringing on the happiness of others.

I am a good girl. I admit though, I am better at some parts of being good than I am on others, better on different days, in different situations.

I am, however, a good girl.

Kink... Just another pigeon hole?

Isn't it interesting that in a group that exists to allow acceptance of those who are considered "outside the box" due to their sexuality, that one is immediately asked to find a box to fit in as per the mainstream groups found here?
I had to giggle over the choices when making my profile. Even in our fetishes, we are categorizing, classifying, grouping and generalizing. Are you a sub? bottom? male? TG? GQ? Master? Goddess? Protector? Princess? Do you like whips? whipcream? chocolate? Saran Wrap? (now I am hungry.. sigh)
I am horrible with terminology, as many who know me can certainly attest to !
I tend to get hung up on needing that term, that label or this category, defined, explained, examined, applied, tested and redefined. I tend to reject them out of hand, have people I trust and respect ask me to rethink it, and have to acknowledge, begrudgingly, that maybe.. MAYBE that label sort of fits.
Words can hurt! They have power! And labels not only lend to a definitive cast upon the person they are applied to, but they encourage limitations, they are confining, ambiguous. They contradict!
I oh so do not like ambiguity.
And yet, everyone of us defines ourselves with labels and terminology that may not have the same meaning to another. I am a bottom, certainly, if bottom means, "glutton to be spanked, teased, paddled, flogged, caned, etc". But it doesnt seem to mean that to anyone but me! i am a sub, i suppose, if by sub you mean "becomes submissive when with someone she trusts, in situations where she feels she safe and treasured, usually those situations are sensual or sexual in nature" Again though, that is my definition. I am a slave if you mean, "for a set period of negotiated time she gives teh right to another to make all decisions for her within her agreed upon and discusses limitations" (haha, but for me that period of time is likely less than a couple of hours.. just saying).
I am a top if you mean that I get pleasure from creating a scene for someone's enjoyment. I am a dominant if by dominant you mean that I like to get my way, I am sometimes bossy and capable of looking after myself and anything and anyone else I choose. I am a sadist if you mean that I can become sexually aroused by someone elses struggle to accept the overload of sensations that I can create. I am a masochist if you mean that what causes pain to many causes me intense sexual pleasure and well being.
But I tend to see those things more like a sliding scale. I do not see being a Top and a Bottom as oppositional, but rather different perspecitves of sensation play. I do not see Dominant and Submissive as opposites, but rather each is their own quality that we each posess some of. Johnny may be an 8 on a 1-10 scale of dominance, and be a 6 on a 1-10 scale of submissiveness. I think most of the BDSM labels are overgneralized, when they can be so situation specific, so partner specific and mood driven.
I don't want a pigeon hole! I certainly don't enjoy being told, "your profile lists you as a thisorthat but you just spoke like a thatorthis" so WHAT!?
I am a person, with varying moods, varying skills. Today I might crave being pinned over a knee, getting the hell spanked out of me until I am in tears and struggling like mad, and tomorrow I may crave the satisfaction of holding those floggers in my hand, watching the skin I am whacking pinken and swell so wonderfully. So what? Why must I enjoy only what someone else wants for me to enjoy? Why do we, us humans, feel that we need to match up with someone that enjoys sex the exact same way we do, rather than enjoy the diversity of each persons skill set, interests and quirks?
Still, all ranting and my own quirks against labels aside, This community is amazing. So many people with such a wide variety of interests, attitudes and so forth. How .. YUMMY
Enjoy..
~.o

Words have power

Words... Strange creatures they are, those words.
Such power.
They can make my heart skip, a flush creep along my skin, till I am tingling from head to toe with need...
They can leave me wet, gasping, blushing or trembling with anticipation.
Oh those words, the words that convey such hot, succulent meaning.
Those words that build such erotic, tantalizing and vivid pictures in my mind, oh yummmm.
I live for those words.
Powerful words of lust, joy, sensuality-words that wrap my thoughts in tangles of pleasure and trepidation, pleasure and pain, oh my.
You know what words can do, you boys. You use some words oh so well.
So why is it such a surprise to so many,
That if words have the power to make us wet, or horny, or filled with longing and need, that words can sting. They can wound. They can set us adrift, lost and alone.
Those words, that leave me hurting, raw, desolate. They are not needed, rarely used for good purpose but rather in anger, in hurt.
They can leave me in tears, my spirit bruised, my trust dented.
Such words as those, that convey such bitternes, such a lashing out. Do they serve your purpose as well?
I cry for those words.
Words have power. Will you use your power to create magic? To intrigue me, pull me to you, my skin starved for you my eyes lit up for you, a ball of aching need, wanton abandon, wicked delight and throaty laughter?
will you use them to create pain? To discourage me, push me from you, my sould wounded and my eyes filled with tears for you, shoulders bent in pain, lips trembling, chest heaving, my back as I leave, shuddering with the burden of those words?
Sigh... Words have such power.
powerful words.
Words are weapons, They have power.
If you are intelligent, you know

Do I look like 1-900-cyber-sex?

Dear Self Proclaimed Master/Dominant/Top/Studly/Penis,
In case you are wondering why you can't find me online anymore... I blocked you. Why? you ask? Oh do read on.
Yes, I label myself as a bottom and a submissive. Yes, I love to be spanked and I love the mental and physical magic of dominance/submission. Yes I actually do get spankings in real life and I have engaged in other kinky activities. Yes I enjoy a dominant personalities in my bedroom.
I do not, however, have a burning desire to sit at my computer and engage in cyber anything at your finger snap. No part of my being a bottom or a submissive includes dropping everything to obey some random male (you know who you are) who is NOT my dominant in order to provide him with FREE cyber sex services. There are millions of FREE webcams out there for the taking. I am not one of them. (And no, smart ass, I am not asking for you to pay... I am telling you NO... again and again and again)
Nor does my being a submissive mean that if you demand I do something I become instantly wet and HAVE to obey you. Sending me a photo of your crotch will not gain you any obedience prize either!
No I will NOT obey you. You want my respect? earn it. you want my compliance? First you need my respect and my consent. I am not obligated to give you any damned thing. I am not a public service, nor do I think aggression is attractive (outside a scene in which it was requested, negotiated, asked for etc).
"I guess you have body image issues, huh? Sorry to hear that" is not a pick up line and certainly won't goad me into being your webcam slut. No, you are not my Daddy, My Master, My Sir, my anything!
most annoyed,

Welcome to My Journey

Life is a journey!

It can be an adventure, or not, as we choose.  Adventure blossoms first in the mind, does not require any level of ability or fitness or health.  Adventure, residing within our minds as a possibility, is within our complete control as individuals.

For me, life is an opportunity to travel through self awareness, self discovery and self empowerment. While it can be extremely challenging to reach for self awareness, it is incredibly rewarding. I look forward to every step!

It is not about judgment, racism, sexism or negativity-not for me.  It is about accepting myself so that I can truly accept others, about understanding myself so I can truly connect with others.  It is looking at our amazing planet with eyes full of wonder, grateful for the chance to be here.
Yes... Some days my glass is half empty.  But those days are few, as out of pure stubborn defiance I refuse, REFUSE to not see my glass as half full, fillable-I just can't live in a state of negativity.  Yes, some adventures hurt, some live me breathless with the pain of it-but that is still feeling-it is still life.
I'm ALIVE! And I am going to take this adventure, get as much out of it as I can, then find new ways to discover new adventures.

Power and Authority

Power is an interesting thing... Strictly speaking power is one's (or a group of persons) ability to get what they want despite opposition.  Politically we see this all the time, as governments and rulers have teh ability to do what they wish, regardless of what us peons think about it. 
Many so called Doms and Masters seem to think this a also how it works in BDSM, but I think perhaps these specific power grabbing and strutting dominants need to examine political history before they get too carried away..
Many rulers and governments have found that while they can take power, oft times with brutal force, that if the people/person they then have power over do not accept this power and instead view it as abusive and coercive.. well those rulers quickly find that they lack authority.
Think of all those places in which we are watching riots and civil wars break out.  Unhappy people in Egypt for example, who do NOT agree that their rulers have the authority to have power over them. 
Now apply these two terms to..say.. playing with me.
Yes.. I am not a bodybuilder and you probably can TAKE by force temporary power over me. But if I don't feel you have the right to that power...if at ANYTIME I feel you are abusing it, I will not tolerate it.  I may not have large muscles, but I can still take back your authority with but a thought.  And then there will be civil war.
So, fellow kinksters, be wary.  Power is a tenuous thing to hold if you do not have the authority.  And a person deserving of that authority also knows how to use their power to empower those in their charge.
Hugs and laughter

How to get spanked in public?

So.. I recently got told that there is nothing a spoiled princess could possibly do to get spanked in public. 
So riddle me this...What would happen if you were in a public place with a spoiled princess that you HAVE paddled mercilessly before and:
you were in a coffee shop where no one knew you?
If you were reasonably sure that you wouldn't be harassed over it?
If the only bystander seemed like they would agree totally if you did?
If you overheard the people at the next table mention that you should?
If the waitress suggested it?
If Spoiled Princess stepped UP the bratting, dumped water on your lap and when you gave her crap (and you would) she stuck out her tongue and kicked you solidly in the shin?
If the coffee shop was actually loud, dark pub and the table was sitated where likely no one would even see? Or hear?
If you had warned her.. and warned her... and she just kept mocking your ability to do anything about it?
If the barkeep wandered by, slapped a wooden spoon on the table with a pointed look and walked away?
If she waited until you excused yourself for a moment and ate your meal?
Drank your beer?
Hid your keys?
Told the waitress that you are actually part of the Wild Rose Drag Troupe?
Told the bouncer that you are gay and think he is sexy?
If she handed you an xrated gift and smirked as you realized everyone was watching?
Told the waitress you aren't tough enough to handle her?
If she flirted outrageously with the waiter and when you told her to knock it off she sassed, "Make me!"
If she kept waiting till the waiter was at the table and put her Heeled foot in your lap... suggestively moving her foot and giggling, making no effort to be discreet even.
If she tossed herself over your knee and said, "HA!!! Dare you!!! nananananana!!!"
If she she promised to spend the next four hours as your complete slave if you did?
If she had a new sex toy that she said you could do ANYTING you want with if you did?
If she said no sex for you AT ALL if you don't?
If she asked nicely?
If she promised to do that thing you had asked her to do but she was to shy to do?
If you knew the rewards would be mindblowingly great?
If you just plain wanted to?
If your brother, a police officer, promised to field any complaints if you did?
Could any of those create a sitation in which you would spank her, right there?
Could any of those create a situation in which you yard her to the vehicle, telling the waitress you 'just need to take her in hand'?
Could any of those create a situation in which you might feel that there IS a WAY?

Just saying.. Never say Never
PS. I would NEVER do such things, Really!!