Minor Update

Soo... I have been pretty quiet lately, not posting much or as often.

Truth is, I have been busy, confused, and struggling to sort out how I feel about a few things. You see, I met this person... A wonderful guy really, who was supposed to fall under a 'hang out once in a while pal with play time' sort of category but morphed quickly into a 'hang out all the time pal who is also my Dominant' sorta category. 

Not complaining, now that I  have kinda wrapped my head around having a person in my life that I spend this much time with, but am not bonded to by any legal certificate (I really am terrified of marriage lol)...

So now, here I am, living a D/s lifestyle but from separate homes, (no shack up expectations!! how cool is that?) with someone who is being oh so respectful of all those minefields I have set to protect myself... Sometimes respecting them, and other times gently pointing out that they are no longer needed...

A bit scary.  But yet... so not.  And for once I really understand that relationships do not have to be built with forever in mind, but more with right now in mind, moment by moment. That I can grow within this, and that is ok.  That I can grow outside of this and that too is ok.  That friends can both play (bdsm) and play (sex) and still be friends.

So for now... assume that silence means I am busy learning more about who I am, what I want, what makes me tick and more about teh world around me and how I fit into it.

Hugs and Laughter,

The Sweetest Submission

It is the sweetest thing, this submission


Doing those things you ask, be they large or small, direct orders or comments on what interests you,

comments that you make in passing- doing those tasks and seeing your glee in my compliance,

feeling your joy in my obedience, your approval in my joy in doing as asked.. oh my....

this submission is the sweetest feeling.


Knowing that you ask for nothing you will regret me doing.
That you ask for nothing that I will regret doing.... And I do know this, Sir.
Knowing that you ask of me to merely give you the responsibility of my submission to you,

that you DO see it as a responsibility-always considering how I will react, if it will benefit me-
it is the sweetest of feelings.


You grin with glee when I blush, when I am oh so slightly mortified, and even that makes me happy!

That such small embarrassments are seen by you as a gift from me, and that you treasure my blushes

rather than seeing them as a weakness. I find myself looking forward to those moments of squidgy blushes,
knowing you adore them.


The look of pride you have when you help me grow and learn, when together we move forward past a
roadblock, melts me. I strive to grow to see that look, to know that you are proud.


Your assurance that you see me, you note my efforts, my growth, my willingness.. that constant reassurance
and coddling feeds me strength to trust when it is kinda scary, to still submit when it is embarrassing,

to speak up when I have questions. You lift me and build me up so sweetly.. How can I not respond to that?


The weight of your eyes on me as you play me, as you drink in every sound you wring from me, as you weigh

every movement I make in response to your tender mercies fuels those very sounds and motions, your craving
for my reactions strengthen my response, a never ending cycle that leaves me a trembling, spaced out,

submissive mess with no thought but your joy in me.


Hearing you say those words, phrases I had believed to be mean, rude, crass, arrogant, dismissive... but yet

you say them with such warmth, such tangible heat, such gentleness and glee, that I crave the sound of them

passing your lips.. oh Sir, you make this submission so sweet.


One look, showing me that you do NOT approve, shatters me. Gentle as the reprimand of that look is, I feel it,

I know. I strive to not ever see that look again.


Knowing how seriously you take my words, how you strive to grow, to include my interests in your fast growing
list of skills, the care and attention you apply to learning of me, the glee you take in using what you learn.....

it leaves me helpless, eagerly looking for opportunities to to show that I cherish that gift, Sir, that you give-in
allowing me to submit to your gentle and erotic will, teaching me to trust in you and in myself, showing me

that submission is, really, truly, a thing of sweetness...


Thank you Sir... for this gift, this sweetest submission...