NEW!!! Youtube Channel with Tutorials!!

Channel is HERE

Naughty and Nice Sets from Kinstore.ca Review!

Not sure how many of you have shopped at www.kinkstore.ca but you should check it out if you are not familiar.  It is owned and operated right here in Edmonton by a local family that is very kink aware.
The owners strive to ensure that their products are above quality, refusing to stock the generic array of sex toys and baubles and instead only carrying items that are built for durability and safety.

We decided to do a light hearted review of their recent sale items, the naughty set and the nice set, intended for spanking enthusiasts.

Rope Basic Workshop Updates!!

With all the overwhelming interest in a rope group the workshops have been split into two groups, rather than just one class.

One group will meet every Thursday, 7-930.  It already has 20 people registered in it.
The group will NOT meet Lupercalia weekend or on STAT holidays. 

The other group will meet every other Sunday.  It already has 17 people registered in it and will only permit 3 more to register.  The group meets from 1pm until 4pm.

I have dubbed them the Thursday Group and the Sunday Group!

Thursday Group has met once already and covered:
Basic Rope Info
Basic Rope Safety
Fred Kryel's style of storing rope
Single Column Tie
Double Column Tie
Variation 1 simple chest harness

Drills now include:
Single column tie
Double Column Tie
Chest Harness

The group was fantastic, and I REALLY appreciate that everyone was so respectful of the space and each other. It was absolutely wonderful.

This Thursday we will do our Drills.
We are going to learn my preferred way to roll up rope
Then we will learn the gunslinger harness and the Karada.
Then we will do our drills again.

Drills now include
Gunslinger harness (one side only)

The Sunday Group will cover
Basic Rope Info
Basic Rope Safety
Fred Kyrels style of storing rope
My preferred way of rolling rope
Single Column Tie
Double Column Tie
Variation 1 Chest Harness
Gunslinger
Karada

Don't panic, we will drill these until you can tie them with your eyes closed before you have your first coffee.

I look forward to the next class!
Hugs, spanks and ROPE
Aropedeevil

Rope Basics Workshop-Edmonton

I am offering Rope Basic Workshops in Edmonton.

These workshops will be offered regularly, starting with basic rope skills and growing from there.  You will need to bring:
A pair of slippers or indoor shoes
A mat or cushion to sit on (or sit on the floor)
1-2 hanks of 25-30' rope.  I sell rope if you need some.
Safety Scissors (also available here)

You do NOT need to bring a bunny, but you can.  Bunnies are also welcome to attend.  All skill levels are welcome!

Cost:  The cost for these workshops is by donation.  All donations go toward maintaining and improving the dungeon.  We are saving to put in a proper suspension frame!

REGISTRATION
You MUST register to attend.  To register email me! Include your Real Name, Scene/fetlife name, if you are rigging or a bunny and if you are bringing anyone their info as well.  If you need rope let me know in ADVANCE.
Once you register I will send you the address.
If you didn't get the address you are NOT registered!

Due to the volume of those registering, this has been split into two groups

Group One is on Thursdays (Edit: This group is FULL) and will meet weekly from 7-930.  We will start with the very basics and grow from there. We will NOT be meeting on Christmas or New Years Day. :) 

2014
December 11
December 18
2015
January 8
January 15
January 22
January 29
Feb 5
Feb 12
Feb 19
Feb 26
March 4
March 12

Group Two is every other Sunday, starting December 21st, from 1pm-5pm
2014
December 21
2015
Jan 4
Jan 15
Feb 1
Feb 8 (the 15th is Lupercalia)
March 1
March 15
March 29



Rules for the workshops are as follows:
1. Discretion

• Do not share the address of the dungeon with anyone.
• Do not share my cell number with anyone.

In the event that someone asks you for this information, feel free to direct them to my website, my email or my fetlife profile.
2. More Discretion

• Do not share the names of those attending
• Do not share the activities or words of others.
• Feel free to say that you attended my workshop and learned xzy

3. Safety

• No drinking or drug use
• No minors
• No using rope without safety scissors nearby
• No rope around necks, period.

4. Respect

• Do not touch if it's not yours. Curious? Ask the owner.
• Be respectful of the persons attending
• Dress Vanilla unless inside
• Clean up your own messes.

Velcro Fur Cuffs vs Leather Locking cuffs

I was given to sets of cuffs to review.  Both come from www.kinkstore.ca
Video Review HERE
Velcro Fur Cuffs
These cuffs are very inexpensive, ringing in around $20.  They are made of faux fur, Velcro strips and D-rings with a cute chain.
Wearing these was.. surprising.  I have gone through several pairs of quick release fuzzy restraints.  The handcuffs that so many stores sell are just plain useless, in my opinion, with the fuzzy material doing little to prevent pressure points and bruising if you 'struggle', and the quick release sometimes sticking.  Most of the Velcro cuffs out there are so cheesy that you can tear them apart while in them, with little effort.

These ones, however, are quite sturdy.  They are lined perfectly, offering a comfortable yet snug fit, with no point of contact creating a sore spot.  The velcro tab loosens and grabs easily, allowing for a very quick release and ease of application.  The D rings are secured with sturdy stiching and the addintion of a center strap built into the cuff.  I tugged on them with some seriousness without even the slightest bit of give.

I rate these:
Design 5/5: They are designed brilliantly, compact, pretty, soft and with all the necessary parts.
Function: 5/5 They do restrain the wrists, the clip works, the faux fur does protect the wrist, the velcro actually releases as designed to do.
Visual Appeal 4/5 These are very frou frou compared to leather cuffs and yet lack the glitzyness of sissy cuffs.  But they are attractive.
Total
14/15

Recommended Experience Level: Novice/Newbie to Advanced

Locking Suede Lined Cuffs
These cuffs are more my speed.  They are leather, lined with suede, and they LOCK ON.  They also have a Velcro release strap.  I was surprised that they were so comfy, and loved the padlock-able buckle.  These do not include a cute chain, but they are very VERY sturdy. they feel like you are being restrained.  A bit more pricey, but still well within reason for the quality.

If you lock them, however, be aware that these will not be coming off quickly.  That said, if used so that they unclip from the D-ring quickly, this should not be a problem. 

I rate these:
Design 5/5 These are designed brilliantly, with the ability to lock them (but Velcro for those who don't want to lock them), a soft lining and sturdy stitching.
Function 5/5 They do restrain the wrists, the clip works, the suede does protect the wrist, the Velcro secures them snugly and the locking buckle works.
Visual Appeal 5/5 These are not bulky but have that sexy BDSM feel to it. They are pretty with just enough padding without looking frou frou.
15/15

Recommended Experience Level: Intermediate to Advanced

Dungeon Almost Done!

YEAH!! Painting today!

Long overdue update

Things have been crazy!!

FHB and I moved to Edmonton.  We are so very excited to be right in the midst of an active community.  And active it is... I had not even finished unpacking when I received an email asking if I and FHB would like to present at Lupercalia's Halloween Event: Hallowed Screams. 

We headed out to an EOS munch, met new friends and old, and tried to prep while moving ourselves into the new home.

The event was Awesome!!!  We loved meeting new people, and enjoyed the crowd very much.  FHB tormented Veronica-Lodge on the mats, demonstrating some sexy and painful ways to use pressure points.  There are a few that she won't consent to, some of which our pet, DamagedGoods volunteered for and others which he drew from the crowd.  It was great fun!

I was able to present on the Art of Romantic Spanking, one of my favorites!! I had two lovely ladies volunteer for the longer demonstrations, a few random volunteers just for fun and of course I was mean to DamagedGoods and made him come up to demonstrate some positions as well.

We had a great time.  I do hope that everyone else had a great time too!

While all this was going on, we are also building our dungeon.  SO EXCITED!!  This project has been incredibly long and painful, but is finally close to done.  Just the inside walls left to finish, hurrah!!

Once it is done I will upload some pics...

Sooo... you wanna be a rigger?

So, you want to be a rigger

by aropedeevil  

I love rope.
I love touching it, smelling it, rubbing it between my fingers. I love feeling it on my skin and I love wrapping it around yours. I have made my own jute, I dye my own rope, I do self bondage and I tie up all kinds of people for all kinds of reasons (but always consensually).
I have taught quite a few people how to use rope, and it can be very frustrating when you are new. We do not learn rope skills by memorization, watching, talking or reading. We learn by body memory.
There is no lecture that will teach you how to feel the ropes tension and know what to adjust.
There is no demonstration that will teach you how to make your bottom feel connected to you as you wind rope on them.
No video, powerpoint, book, diagram or workshop that will create a rigger.
The only thing that will absolutely build your skill is practice. Rope bondage is a body memory skill. Your body needs to do it over and over and over and over and over (etc) to develop the skills to rig with confidence and ease.
We need the lectures in order to learn about the safety and care required to rig safely. We need the demonstrations to learn the structure of different ties, harnesses and 'knots'. We need the videos to be able to check our work as we practice. We need those diagrams and workshops as our building blocks to learning.
After that it is practice.
Over and over.
Learned to do a two column tie?
Do it on everything. tie your ankles, tie a chair to a stick. Tie your hand to your thigh, tie , tie tie. Over and over. Then get a volunteer. Tie two column ties all over the place. Finger to a toe, ankle to a forearm, ankle to ankle, over and over and over. Tie their ankle to your wrist. Think you have it? do it again tomorrow, next week, next month. Over and over. When you can grab rope, close your eyes and tie it on any two columns, you are getting close.
Learned a chest harness? Tie it on your bunny. Tie it on yourself. Tie in on a chair. Get volunteers. Tie it on all shapes of people. think you have it down? tie it again.
Forgot a tie? Google it, relearn it. Tie it over and over and over and over.

Rigging A lovely man in Vancouver

I recently had the wonderful experience of plying my rope, over and over, on a lovely gent in Vancouver.  The dungeon there (in Burnaby, at Braven's for anyone who is familiar with the place) has an entire building devoted to rope.  There are hard points galore!!

I am finding that more and more my ties are simple, rather than the pretty complex ties I was doing before.

I wind the rope and the moment they seem helpless I want to do other things.. I want to move them and taunt them and hurt them..

Lucky for me this bunny was willing and new of my sadistic bent. 

This picture shows the tie.  I had him suspended, because then I can be lazy and make him spin as I reach for various tender parts of his body.


We played for a couple of hours, winding rope, then tormenting, adjusting rope then tormenting some more.  It was lovely.  We were both smiling after, although his smile was a bit more fragile than mine. :)

He is shy, so his face is safely hidden. 

From this angle, besides being able to see my satisfied smirk, you can see the lazy asymmetrical tie I used.  I really do not care for the traditional chest harness.  I find it hurts, I worry about the nerves on the arm, and it looks... wrong on most men.  It just does.

I loved that I could just tie him however, and the suspension was fine.. he seemed comfy until I started hurting him.

Thank you sweet fella.  I enjoyed our time.  It was lovely to be able to tie a male form, at leisure, and not worry about if the tie looked pretty, but instead focus on the energy between us, and to build the tension with gentleness and pain, pain and gentleness.. You are a wonderfully rope bottom!

And of course there are toes... When I let him down, we were working some pressure points and he kicked... so this was my solution.  i love toes.  Just saying.

Stigmas in our Community

To my knowledge, the Kink Community is the most diverse and accepting communities out there. We have people from all types of backgrounds and cultures, people with all types of kinky desires and needs.
Yet it seems we just simply cannot coexist without some sort of hierarchy of acceptable kink genres. Why is that?
Why is it that some who consider themselves 'spankos' believe that if you use a flogger you are doing BDSM and therefore are not a spanko? Why is it that some Sissy Maids do not accept DL's? That true Dom(me)s cannot every bottom, that true submissives cannot top ... The list goes on.
In the land of MKINYK/YKINMK can we not just accept that while we do not need to embrace anyones kinky nature, we very well can be accepting and understanding.
I love this community. It excites me that I can come here ('here' being any kink community, online or r/l) and gather information, ask questions, find mentors, share knowledge, meet others, find events and generally feel accepted.
I am aware, however, that I cannot share all my kinky adventures. I have to be careful who I share what with, as some of what I enjoy is stigmatized.
I try very hard to be accepting and even when your kink freaks me the hell out, I try to learn a bit about it, in order to be supportive. If you do blood play, for example, I won't watch, but I will help you find the safety supplies you need and be there to listen and encourage you to grow and learn and experience.
I think some people in our community have forgotten (or perhaps never knew) the pain of having to hide such a huge part of themselves away from the world. I believe we all need to check ourselves-are we as accepting as we could be of other people in this community? What group do we look down on? Then we need to learn about that group, to lessen our fear of what they do and be able to say, no, YKINMK but you are welcome here.
Not saying to accept anything that really truly goes against your moral fiber. Some things are just wrong. But if the activity involves consenting adults who are taking steps to ensure that what they do is done as safe as possible, then quit judging

SSC Meet and Learn May 3rd

I was fairly excited, as the winter had been quite long and we were long overdue for a community gathering.  With so many of the original group having moved away, however, I was not sure how many people to expect.

FHB was fairly stoked.  N had volunteered to be his demo for pressure points.  I planned on a rope tutorial to follow his presentation and of course we had something new and exciting... A surprise for everyone!

With so many people messaging me for the address I thought we might have a full house.  I find that many people, when they find out we have waivers and if you appear 'young' you may be required to show ID, are reluctant to attend.  I understand their reticence, but at the same time I have to ensure that EVERYONE is safe, protected and that we all are on the same page.

FHB gave F a ride, and N showed up shortly after.  We introduced them and chatted for a time.  At quarter after, however, we moved forward and presented our surprise.

This innocent looking device is a spanking machine from spankermachine.com  We set it up, attaching it to a rickety side table I have (not sure why I have not replaced that thing either, but...) and attached my shortest cane to it. 

N was our brave volunteer, and what a show!!  You can see in the video that the machine's clamp is rather lame, and that the implements keep dropping lower and lower.  But for the money it is certainly a great find.

I admit, I was laughing hysterically as N danced all over and the machine relentlessly continued to swat her.  I noted, with some mirth, that she stood there, never moving away-so all her jumping about seemed twice as funny.

Just as we wrapped that up and started the pressure point demo, J called to say they were headed over.  FHB happily redid the Pressure Points demo for J and then we did a toy share and chat for the rest of the evening.

Perhaps not as structured as we sometimes get, but it was fantastic to gather again! See you all next month!

Richards Day off F/m

Richard’s Day Off



She slowly opened her eyes, stretched and rolled over to wake Richard.


Only he wasn't there.


She quickly got out of bed, and grabbed a robe as she ran out of the room and down the stairs, sparing the clock a cursory glance as she went.


‘Six in the morning. Where the Hell was he?’ She thought, thoroughly irritated.


After making sure that he wasn't in the downstairs bathroom, or the kitchen she checked the garage. Her temper began to rise immediately, and she slammed back in to the house.


Histruck was gone. He actually went to the office, today of all days.


She was not impressed. He had promised that he would book the day off.Had been promising all month. Unlike all those other times, this time was definitely worse. After all, it WAS their anniversary, and they had made specific plans.


'Anyways,'she muttered darkly, 'what is the point of being the boss if you can't take one lousy day off!'


She paced back and forth as she thought back over the last few months. It had been, what? Three months since he had taken more than half a day off. Two cancelled weekend trips, twelve cancelled dinner reservations. One cancelled beach holiday. Hundreds of unfulfilled promises.


She understood that the office was busy this time of year, but this was ridiculous. Richard put in enough hours to rival ANY workaholic. Yous ure didn’t see any of his employees working on a Sunday!


He was the boss; he could take some time off if he chose to.


And that, she decided, was the real problem. He did NOT choose to. He did NOT choose to spend time with his WIFE, did NOT choose to KEEP his PROMISES!


Well this time there would be hell to pay!! She smiled grimly as she dressed, planning her revenge. Oh Yes! This time he would fully and completely understand what it meant to make the wrong choice!


*********************************************************************


A few hours later, Richard was still sitting in the office, crunching through a small pile of paperwork. He had made several attempts to contact some of their customers, but so far had failed to reach anyone. “You would think” he thought irritably, “That someone would be interested in their company’s well being!” He couldn’t understand such irresponsibility! After, HE put in whatever hours were necessary, working hard to keep the company solid.


He was well into his self-satisfied gloating when the outer door opened.


He looked up in surprise. It was very rare to have a customer come in on a Sunday. He was even more surprised at the vision that appeared in the doorway.


His WIFE! And she was dressed... differently. Thigh high black boots showed off her legs, as did the black mini and bustier. Good God! She looked more like a street girl than she did his loving, swee t wife!


In her hand she held a- What the Hell!! She had a crop in her hand!!


His eyes widened even further as she locked the door, then turned around to glare at him. "Uh, Honey? What in Sam's Hill is going on?"He stammered at her, completely baffled, and more than a little bit irritated. Didn’t she understand that he had no time for such impudence!


"Justa little reminder, Richard dear. Hopefully you will at least remember this one, hmm?" She purred as she strode towards him. He couldn’t help but notice how, well, determined she looked. How absolutely angry she was. Her high heeled boots clacked loudly against the floor. He immediately checked to be sure she wasn’t marking up the linoleum.


"Where are you supposed to be young man?" She barked at him, irritated at the way his eyes just kept getting bigger. By the way he just gaped at her, not truly understanding his situation. Well, he would understand soon enough, that’s for sure!


Theedge in her voice, if not the words themselves seemed to penetrate his shock, as he stood up to face her.


"Now just wait a minute! You can't talk to me like that!!" He blustered, his hands thumping down on his desk, scattering his paperwork. “Now look at what you’ve made me do!” he grumped, glaring at the paperwork all over the floor.


Ignoring his complaining, she walked up so that she faced him across his desk.Then she slowly reached forward to grab his tie.


Fora brief moment he wondered if this was one of those bizarre sex things, the kind people were always talking about. What was it called? Ah, Dominatrix! Then he found him self sprawled across his own desk as she yanked hard on his tie.


"I can’t talk to you like that? That is debatable Richard. I am sick of your attitude lately. You don't have time for me anymore, hmm?" She spoke coldly, as he sputtered and struggled.


The horrid crop came down sharply across his backside. He jerked, trying to stand up, only to choke wildly for a moment. Christ, she had tiedhis tie to something. He quickly discovered that any struggling resulted in rapid strangulation.


Justas he came to this conclusion the crop bit into him twice more.


"So much work to do, hmm?"


CRACK,SPLAT!


"Not even time for our anniversary?"


CRACK CRACK CRACK!


He held still thinking that she had lost her cotton picking mind, maybe if he held still she would give up on this weird game.


"Hmm,not very effective...Well, lets try this..."Suddenly he felt cold air on his now exposed buttocks as she ripped his dress pants.


"That is ENOUGH!" He roared, thoroughly pissed off. This was beyond bad taste in jokes. “You will quit this nonsense RIGHT NOW!” He yelled, frustrated by his own helplessness.


"On the contrary dear, we have not yet begun to discuss how thoroughly pissed I am" She lightly tapped the crop on his exposed buttocks, laughing throatily as he clenched in anticipation of the blow.


The she brought the crop down smartly several times in rapid succession,not even minding that he didn't make a sound.


Then she aimed a blow at the tender underside of his left buttock, and was rewarded by his cursing and frantic struggles to get loose.


She proceeded to bring the crop down, each connection with his vulnerable ass leaving a thin red line. Lines that soon became welts as she continued to demonstrate her ire with him upon his person.


After25 blows he began to make low growling noises as each landed, 25 morehad him moaning.


Throughout it all she continued to lecture him on his poor behavior concerning their relationship. By the time she was no longer angry his ass was covered in stripes that showed no sign of fading any time soon.


She left him there, the rear of his pants ripped out, tied to his desk.


As she reached the door she stopped.


"Richard.I have no wish to have to repeat this performance, so I suggest you get your ass home for our ANNIVERSARY DINNER. I further suggest that you start making our relationship a priority, not just work."


She opened the door, then turned back.


"Oh,and all you have to do is open the drawer to get you tie loose."


As he reached for the drawer, she sauntered out, laughing softly to herself.

It's jst a bench

He smiled at the sight of her, kneeling there, fully exposed for his pleasure. Her arms clasped behind her back thrust her tits forward and her slightly raised chin exposed her neck. Her knees were parted, exposing her cunt, and he could see that she was moist with need already. His eyes roamed over her, taking in her quivering flesh, her ragged breathing, her nipples that seemed to tighten as he watched.
He reached down, gathering her hair in his hand, slowly winding his fingers until her head was tightly in his palm, and he lifted her, bringing her neck to his mouth. He bit down on that tender place where neck meets shoulder, eliciting a moan from her.
He turned, still holding her head and hair, and walked/dragged her to the new bench he had built. He led her onto the bench, bending her over it and began to fasten her down. Ankles were secured, legs quite wide apart, then straps over each thigh. Another strap fastened her waist down.
He placed her collar around her neck, and that too was attached to the bench, in such a manner that her head was raised. He fastened her forearms and wrists to the padded arm rest, then stood back to admire his handiwork.
She was tethered, in doggie position, leaving every hole exposed. He grinned, and grabbed the new ring gag he had purchased. He carefully placed it in her mouth, then tied it securely behind her head and attached the points at each side to the bench so that she could not even wiggle her head.
"So, my little slut... can you guess what happens now?" he teased, his hands roaming her body. She made little noises, which amused him greatly. He placed an item in her hand, saying, "This is your 'red', press this like so.." his fingers showed her how to press the gadget, which elicited a loud and repeititive dinging noise, "and I will know you have hit your limit. Press it now, if you understand me."
She pressed the button, let it ding a couple times then let go of the button.
"Good girl!" He grinned. He grabbed her vibrating toy, and rubbed some lubrication onto it. He worked the toy into her cunt, then turned it on. She began to make little sounds for him, half protest half pleasure.
"Get used to it, miss... This bench is designed to hold such things." With that gem of information he snapped a clamp around the base of her toy, and adjusted a bar so that it would be held in place.
Then he adjusted another bar, this one with a small rubber cock, so that it was snuggly in her mouth...
"I want you to understand, my sweet slut, that each of your holes will be busy at all times, until I decide to take you off this bench." He grinned at her. "How lovely... every hole, just waiting for me to do as I please."
He moved around her again, and began to rub lubrication into her asshole, then worked a finger into her. He admired how her body trembled, her muted groans and moans as he explored her ass with is fingers, and mouth. Once her body was more receptive, he worked a butt plug into her ass, and fastened that to yet another attachment point.
With each of her holes thus plugged, he began to spank her, slapping her thighs and ass, pausing to grab her hair, bite her and play with her breasts. Once her ass was a nice pink, he grabbed a tawse, and began to work her flesh some more, each impact rewarded with more muted sounds and whimpers from her.
Then he grabbed the Hitachi Wand, and placed that strategically so that it would vibrate against her clit relentlessly. He turned it on the low setting, then moved around to her face. He removed the mouth dildo and before she could even gasp, slid his cock into her mouth.
He fucked her mouth, as she trembled, moaned and tried to buck, each toy tormenting and pleasing her as his cock stroked her mouth and throat.
He slid out of her mouth and crouched down, wiping her tears, and stroking her face as she moaned around the gag's ring. He replaced the mouth dildo then returned to her ass, gently removing the butt plug.
He lubricated his cock, turned the hitachi on the high setting, and worked himself into her ass, rocking against her as she clamped around him.

The devious man smiled as he flexed his hips, working his well lubricated cock in and out of her ass. "Such a good girl" he said, pressing his thumbs into the pressure point on each buttock, causing her to moan and wriggle. He could feel the beginning of her orgasm, her internal muscles clenching, her legs tensing, and he moaned at the sensation.
"That's right, cum for me" he encouraged as he rocked and thrust.
Her orgasm (and assgasms) left her mewling helplessly, her muscles clamping rythmically down upon him, as he rocked within her, the wand and vibrator stimulating her incessantly, the cock gag not able to muffle her sounds entirely as she tried to thrash about.
He continued to thrust and rock, smiling at her distressed sounds for a moment before he lowered the hitachi's settings. "No, my slut... we are not done yet" he teased her as he continued to fuck her ass. His hands stroked her skin, pinching, kneading, poking and caressing as he and the various toys rode her. Before long he could feel her muscles clenching again, and he picked up tempo to match her spasms.
Just as she came he jacked the hitachi back up to max and chuckled as her body responded, clenching and releasing, her mewls of distress and pleasure again rising in volume.
Her body continued to spasms, as he threw his own head back and moaned, withdrawing his cock and ejaculating over her ass. He could see her body continuing to spasms as he took a moment to enjoy his own release.
"What a good little slut" He murmured, watching the spasms abate, her body still trembling, her moans sounding panicky.
"What's wrong girl?" he laughed.."are things getting sensitive?" His fingers relubed her ass, and he pressed the butt plug back into place.
She moaned in frustration, body beginning to tense again.
"All three holes, till I am done, remember?"
She moaned again, piteously. "Just one more, that's a good girl." he fondled her breasts and then picked up his crop. As he watched her body stiffen and relax with the onset of yet another wave of orgasms, he landed a sharp swat to one thigh, then the other. As she moaned and wiggled, he layed two on each ass cheek.
He continued to beat her as she came, her body straining as she lay there, helpless and lost to the sensations he provided. As her trembling subsided, he reached down and wiggled the buzzing Hitachi, grinning as she again made stressed noises. He tormented her for a minute before finally turning it off. He made soothing noises as he slowly removed the various toys, his hands caressing her, whispering "good girl.. you did good"
He removed the O-ring, then began to slowly loosen the bonds holding her to the bench. He massaged her stiff limbs, then uncurled her from the bench and into his arms.
She snuggled into him and said in her most sated voice, "Thank you Sir."
He chuckled, "You are very welcome, miss."
She blushed, then giggled. "That is a mean piece of furniture Sir..."
"That?" he answered, "That is just a bench!"

How about bottoming from the Top? Hmm?

At a gathering recently I was asked to weigh in on the phenomena known as "Topping from the bottom".

It's a subject that has always annoyed me a wee bit, as i just don't see what all the hullabaloo is about. Wasn't it Eleanor Roosevelt who said that no one can have power over you unless you give it to them?

Often is seems to me that this label is used as a knee jerk reaction of disapproval to us brats who will do our equivalent of kicking Sir in the shin to let him know we'd really like some funishment.
Other people seem to be referring to a bottom saying "harder, softer, that wrapped, please no teeth" once in the scene.

Still others, a smaller group in my experience, also include a bottom who is clear about what they want in a scene.

To those of you from the first group... It is annoying, I am sure, to be Lord UberDomly Thunderpants and have your submissive glutton playfully brat you. Poor thing. If you are truly Lord UberDomly Thunderpants then you should be able to deal with this in an adult and leadership based manner. You could, perhaps, sit your submissive down and state clearly that you do not enjoy this behavior and it will not result in funishment at all, but time out. Or perhaps find out WHY your submissive is bratting rather than coming to you in an adult manner and stating clearly that he or she would REALLY like some play please. Or recognize that sometimes it is just fun to brat, and you could have fun sending them to a corner. Throwing the overused phrase "Topping from the bottom" is lazy. And in my oh so personal opinion, every bottom/sub/slave has the right to ask for what they need. Them asking does NOT force you to do a dang thing. If your sub is a SAM, (like perhaps I can be) and you don't care for it, again... Conversation. Leadership skills.

To those who feel that a bottom speaking up from within a scene is nothing but the bottom behaving like a Top, I respectfully suggest you hone your Topping skills. Or perhaps your pre-scene negotiating skills need work. If I am not getting what I need out of the scene, or getting something I do not need, I have the RESPONSIBILITY to say so. If you are bottoming to me, I EXPECT you to speak up. None of us are psychic. And Lord UberDomly Thunderpants? If you are EVER uncomfortable during a scene, you have the right to safe word and end the scene. So if you truly feel that your bottom is Topping, call yellow. Discuss it. Can't resolve it? End the scene, part amicably.

Done deal.

To those few who feel that a bottom negotiating a scene clearly is Topping.. Well no words of mine will help you. Good luck with that.

Perhaps someone can also explain to me why it is that we never hear complaining about those who sub from the Top. Why is it no one is assuming that some things that Tops do are actually submissive behaviors? Is it subbing from the Top when SirRespectful asks his bottom, "Would you like me to go harder?" Is it subbing from the Top when the bottom is asked to choose what implements? When the Top checks in with the sub to see if things are still ok? When the Top gets a buzz from what he/she is doing?

Is is subbing from the Top when Lord Confident Dom says to his bottom/submissive/slave, "I want to experience xyz, go grab the whatchamallit and use it on me."

My opinion? Not at all. But if we are going to shame a subby type for speaking up for what they need, or for trying to be playful and get playtime that way, it's only fair if any signs of respect, compassion, or desire for sensory play should be seen as subbing from the Top, no?

Not all spankings are equal

Anyone who has had me over their knee, (or watched me play hard in a dungeon) likely has figured out that this angel may be a bit of a masochist. And, as you may have guessed from the monicker I use, I love LOVE my spankings.
This year at Lupercalia we went to a Tantric Spanking class (John Ireland, you and little one rock). The class was not really a huge shock, we didn't really learn anything 'new'. Instead we were reminded that not all spankings are equal.
Not all spankings are about pain, or pain, or a well marked bottom.
Some spankings are about sex.
About love.
About feeling that slow pulse build up on ones 'nether region'.
Later, when we had a bit of time to ourselves, Firm-Hand-Buddha drew me slowly over the bead, his hand smoothing my skin, lingering touches as he disrobed me.
He grabbed my hair and let his hand tighten just so, then let go, letting my hair sift through his fingers as he cupped the back of my neck and moved his hand down my spine, to rest in that hollow that makes me shiver.
His other hand caressed my thighs, my ass cheeks, lightly slapping, plumping and slapping, fingers so close to touching me.
The details are blurry, as each touch tugged me under his very sexy spell. Every slap of his hand on my skin had me writhing, as he caressed, teased, slapped, and did what he does oh so well. I have never been so wet from a spanking, let me tell you!
Some spankings are about connecting. About using touch and eroticism for pleasure and intimacy. Yummmm.....

This masochist thanks you, Sir... Spank me anytime.

Lupercalia 2014

Lupercalia 2014 Report:
Friday, February 14
The Toga Party and Vendor Market
I was excited to see all my dear friends again! I really can't wait to be moving closer (or hopefully right here). I threw on different togas (I have two) and finally settled on one, pinned up some hair, chatting happily with one dear friend who was hanging out with us and also getting ready.
When we (Fyen, Firm-Hand-Buddha and I) headed down I was as excited as a child! This is my 4th Lupercalia event and I was hyper for things to begin. I chatted with vendors, explored the market place and put my name on a few of the silent auction items.
At the toga party I hear that slaves were auctioned off, I missed that part and arrived with FHB for the 'tasting'. The tasting amounted to several stations in which a person could have a taste of the activities within. The stations were: Electrical (violet wands), spanking, caning, needles, flogging, cupping, clothes pegs and whipping.
Violet Wand:
We joined the gaggle of toga clad party goers and started at the Violet Wand Station. Our demonstrator ran the wand on a high enough setting that I still have marks on Monday. He zapped my arm quite a bit, and my breast, and my stomach. To get the gold coin Sir agreed to be zapped. Electricity does not phase him, which I think the presenter took as a challenge, because he reached out and zapped FHB on the foreskin thorugh his toga without warning or a by your leave, much to my amusement. To be fair, this was worth much more than one gold coin!
To any of the newbies, or new to electrical play, please please know that this is not the only way to use a violet wand! FHB uses a wand, and he can vibrate, heat, sting or holy fuck with the wand. He bought his violet wand at Lupercalia last year and we have enjoyed it's usage quite a bit. I did not particularly enjoy the taste I was given, and in fact I have broken skin from the contact upon my stomach, and Sir has a vibrant welt upon his cock.
Still, all in good fun!
Spanking:
This station provided the opportunity to be spanked by one of two presenters. I chose Wiseman, as his book was the book that introduced me to so many things. He had FHB pick an implement (damn you for picking the tawse, lol) and had me kneel upon a chair and lift my toga skirt. I loved that he so clearly negotiated that he would be petting and rubbing with such seriousness then gave me increasingly harder swats with the tawse with much petting and rubbing in between. My dear partner was greatly amused by my glee in getting spanked by Mr. Wiseman. Sir refused to be spanked, and thus we did not earn a gold coin.
Paddling:
Sir chose sensation sticks at this station. This was great fun! The presenter was very respectful and sweet. Sir again declined to be spanked and I lost out on yet another gold coin.
Needles:
I am in no way allowing someone to put needles in my skin, unless it is for medical reasons. I am way squeamish, and Sir graciously allowed me to avoid this booth.
Flogging:
For those of you who have not caught on at this point, I love spanking. It was great to be at this booth! My dear friend was one of the presenters at this booth and when he saw me there he actually tried to get out of flogging me, and was cajoling the other presenter into doing it. He gave me the smallest of floggings, which was fun. Then Sir figured he could get a gold coin (to be honest, I pushed and bratted him into it).
Again, because Sir is a large man with a calm demeanor, he found himself receiving a rather harsh flogging. It was as if the presenter felt that my Sir's silence and gentle smile was a challenge. (It really isn't, by the way. He really is that peaceful) He had welts upon his neck by the time we got our coin. AND we didn't get a gold!! We got two silver!!! What a rip off!!
Cupping:
This activity kind of grosses me out. I don't like the way the skin looks at all. I agreed, however, for it to be done on my thigh. (so I wouldn't have to see). I have never tried this activity and was a bit worried. The presenter respectfully asked before touching me, and was clear in his intentions. Very nice!
I didn't mind the sensation, but I looked when I thought he had taken it off, and it wasn't off. The sight squidged me out.
Sir, quite enjoying my discomfort (he is such a sadist) also tried the cupping. The presenter tried to talk him into baring a nipple for him, but not a chance! I tried not to look but Sir insisted I pull the cup off, and it wouldn't. EWWWWW ... Just saying. Nice sensation, but I don't like the way it looks.
Clothes pegs
This booth was neat. I have had this done before, but some how a certain Sadist at this booth was able to pinch a little more with them than I had experienced before. When he ripped them of I was surprised by the marks. Sir also tried this and seemed ok with the sensation. The presenters were respectful.
We joined the line up for Whiping, but the event ended well before our turn. I was ok with that, as I had a date for my first ever whipping already lined up.
Toga Contest:
We were sitting, listening to the speech, when a lady came by and insisted I stand up. I was embarrassed beyond belief. My friends and partner were all laughing and encouraging me. I was directed to stand on stage and then blushed my way through the crowd testing of approval on the costumes the four of us up there were wearing. In the end I won a ticket for Luper next year! Thank you fellow contestants, party goers and nominees, that was lovely!
My dungeon experience is HERE

And that, my friends, is how I became addicted to the Whip.

I hid in the hotel room shaking with fear, apprehension and excitement. It was already ten minutes past when I had agreed to meet, and I still wasn't sure that I had the courage to go through with it.
It had been over a month since I had sent my timid request to @Rufrider to provide me with my first whipping scene ever. My dear Sir and I had met him at an EOS function where he had given us an impromptu lesson in whip wielding. We came away from the meet with a drive to explore whips more.
@Firm-Hand-Buddha and I had discussed this at length before I messaged Rufrider. We frequently play with others but.. I have not really bottomed for anyone else since we became partners. All my gluttonous needs have been well met. I have been over a few laps-but not for a scene, and certainly not for a session.
We talked and talked. We both felt very comfortable with Rufrider. He is passionate about what he does (whips), and he certainly has skills. More importantly, though, was how respectful he is towards us as individuals and as a couple. So, with that in mind, I messaged him and we began to work out an agreement for a whipping session.
Now that the moment had come I was panicking. Whips are one of those BDSM tools that can be used gently or incredibly harshly. I had seen some heavy scenes. I wasn't sure I was up to it. Firm-Hand-Buddha was patient, letting me fuss with clothing and hair, reassuring me and yet never pressuring me.
Then my phone buzzed, with a text from the whip wielder himself, checking to see where I was at. I took a breath and down we went. For some reason or the other I ended up in the Dungeon before FHB. I spotted Rufrider and headed over.
In the way of a safe top, he sat me down and prompted me to provide more info on what we wanted from him. I was so terribly nervous. I love pain, I really do, but...
Rufrider gently led the negotiations, making sure he had all the information he needed-not just the physical aspects (health, injuries, intensity of play wanted, safewords etc), but to be sure that he understood where our boundaries are as a couple. When we were done talking, he reminded me that he was also going to talk to FHB.
I have no recollection of what the two of them said, as I was concentrating on just breathing. We picked a cross, and away we went.
I dawdled getting undressed, and the two gents chatted while I did so.
Then there I was. Naked on the cross, with FHB on the other side facing me, his fingers lightly trailing over my lower arms and hands. FHB was be there to recognize when I was getting to yellow/red, as sometimes I forget to verbalize.
I realized, as Rufrider explained that he was going to start slowly, that he would be touching my back, shoulders and hair to connect, that I was nervous about more than the actual session itself-I was worried about FHB and how he would feel about how I would feel as someone else topped me.
I asked him if he was ok, and he gave me that Buddha smile that fills me with such peace and joy. With that smile I was able to let go, to trust him to look after his own ego and to just be in the moment of the session.
And then the whip touched me. The gentlest of kisses. And before I could decide how I felt about that, the return stroke. The dance began.
The whip would caress and I would melt a little, it would sting and I would writhe. The heat and tingle built up, the harsh kiss of the whip muted by the trailing caress as it left the skin-a caress amplified by my Sir's fingers lightly dancing along my skin.
The pain was not pain, really, but more just an intensity of sensation. It grew and grew until I thought surely I was going to have to yellow. Then suddenly there was a soothing hand on my back, a roughly gentle hand in my hair, pulling my head back.
Then the fingers on my arms again, the soothing voice of my partner, as the whip smoothed against my skin again, building until those kisses were light pops, then the light pops were small cracks, the intensity moving my body as I processed the sensations. As the cracks started my Sir softly asked me to color, I whimper moaned-Green, loving the waves I was riding. Then the waves began to pull me under and I opened my mouth the yellow just as a gentle touch soothed my back, kneaded my shoulders, fingers on my face, soft words being spoken, dragging me back into that lovely space where everything is pretty and beautiful. Those hands left me, Sir's hands returned to touching my hands and arms and the whip kissed my skin again.
I have no recollection of how many times Rufrider paused and then rebuilt the waves up. I know that at least two of those waves built me to tears and gasps, moans and groans, with each wave stopping just as I became overwhelmed, right up until the last wave.
The last wave was different. Rufrider expertly built that up until I was sobbing, my body desperate for a lull, and he said my name, he said it in a way that demanded an answer. He told me to stay with him, just five more. I agreed. Just five. I can do five.
The sound moved my body and Rufrider counted it out loud. Just as I was thinking four more was ok, I could do that the second crack sounded, and the intense sensation from the First Crack filled me. I cried out with the force of it, felt it from my toes to my scalp. My mind was going fuck, not three more, fuck not three more fuck as the next crack sounded and my body responded, the heat flooding me, the scream leaving my throat, the sobs wracking me.
But it was incredible, FHB gently coaching me, telling me just two more, as Rufrider called out the third and then delivered the 4th.
That crack filled my vision with streams of colour. My body filled with vibrations of pleasure and pain, everything so intense. So much... too much.. not enough.
Firm-Hand-Buddha, that voice that anchors me, the presence that means everything to me, calmly told me one more.. just one more, his fingers holding mine.
CRACK
The last one exploded across my back and through my chest, everything in my body tightened and released in this amazing sensation of pain, pleasure and heat. Then hands touching me as I sobbed. Voices telling me I did an amazing job, arms around me, mascara running, I laughed, I cried, I was high as hell, wet to the knees, and not room in my heart for embarrassment or shame as I hugged the two amazing men that made this scene so incredible.
Thank you, Sir, my love, for encouraging me and being so amazing.
Thank you, so very much, dear Rufrider. Thank you for your time, your respect and for taking me on such an amazing journey.
And that, my dear friends, is how I became addicted to the kiss of a whip.

How not to punish THIS sub

First off, just don't.
Don't punish me.
Ever.
As a spanko i get the allure of punishment. I really do. Some of my favorite fantasies are punishment based.
Hot, right?
The silly girl (me) does something ridiculous and her kind but stern (dominant, boss, husband, teacher etc) has to take her in hand and correct her wayward ways... Yummy as hell.
But the reality just does not work for me. The sexy stories are all about girls doing crazy things-driving dangerously, spending money they don't have, being embarrassingly bratty in public, playing childish and spiteful pranks... The list goes on.
Even as a child I did not do such things. I certainly am not going to start now. I make mistakes of course. I tend to take on more tasks than I can complete efficiently. I immerse myself in hobbies. I waste time on Fetlife. I forget to put a spoon in Sir's lunch. I get cranky. As soon as I 'mess up' and realize I did so, I feel regret. I think about what happened and I apologize to anyone it may have affected. I consider better ways to do things. I then learn, move on.
If Sir had decided to punish me for the spoon incident, I would have been crushed. Taking care of him is my favorite responsibility and he knows that I take this responsibility seriously.
Once I moved past being crushed, I would have moved on to being resentful. You see, spanking, corner time and lectures are beautiful things for me. They are magic. I love them-LOVE THEM! If those things were used with intent to make me feel bad, I would resent that. Not only do I not need a punishment to feel bad when I fuck up, but spankings (for me) are a happy place. I would resent them being tarnished.
I would resent him. I would be mining his words and actions for faults and mistakes, each one would deepen my resentment.
Punishment would not 'teach me' to be 'good'. Punishment would teach me to be hostile and angry.
When I mess up, we talk about it. If I need help to find solutions, FHB is willing to do what he can. I try to take responsibility for myself.
Funishment now... that is another thing entirely..

Westcoast Bound 2014

When we decided to attend WestCoast Bound this year, I know I had certain expectations. For example, I fully expected that I would learn a great deal in the workshops and classes and to enjoy meeting new people.
I certainly wasn't disappointed-the presenters were incredible and I certainly met new people. I did not expect the lessons I came away with, however.
My journey began in the week prior to the event, in spending time with my partner, @Firm-Hand-Buddha , while taking care of work and family related responsibilities and pleasures. There were so many moments, in those days together, forced into the tedium of muggle worlds (surrounded by family as we were) in which I was completely shattered by the depth of his love for me.
For the first time in my entire life, I truly believe that I am loved. Unconditionally. Without reserve. Without expectations. I have no words for the way this realization changed me, but it was ... devastating and beautiful. I wept.
I am humbled by it.
And it was with this fresh look at my relationship with my dear Sir that I landed in the midst of the Vancouver Fet Scene. With over 25 years of kink living, 15 years of traveling to workshops much like this one, and 2 years of holding my own workshops here, I felt sure that I at least knew what to expect.
With this slightly euphoric glee (I love these conferences) but confident in my expectations I followed my gentle yet sadistic partner to our first class. I was only attending this one for FHB, he has the violet wand and is quite devious in his use of it, but it is not a huge fetish for me. (Meaning I would not seek out this type of play with anyone else, even though I have oh so enjoyed our playtime). I figured it would be about how to use the equipment (which it was) and some advanced techniques (also true).
But I came away with a different lesson entirely. As I listened to @UncleAbdul talk I realized that I had completely missed the point of a tens unit. I had dismissed this gizmo as being just another form of electrical stuff, much like what we already have. But it is an EROTIC form. I missed the point because, hey, if it's not spanking or rope.... its just 'play'. And in that moment I realized I do this with all sorts of fun, sexy opportunities. If they are not in my comfort zone, I dismiss them out of hand. Hmmm... By the end of class I was excited, filled with devious ideas, and looking forward to exploring.
Every class I attended was like this.
Rape Play with @JimDuvall was a class we attended because we have a dear friend who is very much into CNC play, and we wanted a deeper understanding. I did come away with a deeper understanding, but Jim took his class a bit further, demonstrating a courage, compassion and intelligence in his workshop that left me reeling. He had ways of making this type of play seem so very doable, safely, but with that edge of fear that is oh so sexy. And in that moment, I looked at FHB and realized, this too is a path we could explore together, should we choose. That with the trust we have, there are so many options available to us. I was starry eyed coming out of class.
Finger Ties with @Tho4ns left me with excitement to revisit some ties that I enjoy, but that never really feel complete. A great instructor with a great bunch of rope addicts.
The entire weekend played this way, with new playmates, new realizations and incredible presenters.
Thank you Vancouver, for the friendly welcome and the lovely event.

Practicing the TK3

I am going to Westcoast Bound this year!! I am so very excited.  There is an amazing line up of presenters and classes, including some advanced rope classes.  Not sure I can get in to one, but I oh so am going to try.

So... To be sure I am ready I am practicing the TK3 tie.

My dear friend and sometimes playmate volunteered to allow me to practice on her.

As you can see from the front, this tie is not just a typical chest harness, when done correctly it is locked in place and quite lovely. Next time with jute!!

I couldn't find my last purple rope, so we added the pink to finish.

Due to the way I added the pink rope on, the web is a bit off kilter, but for a first run I will take it!

Huge hugs for my volunteer! You have no idea how good it felt to have rope in my hand once more.
xoxo
Rope and laughter
Aropedeevil