Sir,
I think we must be doing this wrong.
More to the point, either You are doing this wrong or I am not a twu submissive.
I read so many of the forums, I belonged to several groups, I asked
questions, I had (and still have) mentors. In these groups we often
would talk about the struggles that can come with full time power
exchanges and I would find myself remaining very silent. Not because I
myself don't struggle, but because their struggles seem.... well
downplayed to say the least. Sometimes they even seem trivial.
"How do you cope when He/She asks you to do a chore you hate?" is a
common theme. To me this is a no brainer. I do the same thing when I
have a chore to do that I hate and You don't tell me to do it. I do it.
This is part of life, right? Doing things that are not fun? I mean,
chores are called that because they are chores.
And I will go a step further... the only time You ever have to 'tell'
me to do a chore it is because I have been slacking, behind, or
whatever. In those cases I feel bad immediately because I SHIRKED
SOMETHING. I feel I let myself down, and thus by extension YOU. I don't
struggle with this. There is nothing to struggle against. I recognize,
make a note to improve it and move on.
"How do you manage your dissapointment/distress/discomfort when He
demands you to wear something you don't like." Um... depends on why I
don't like it I suppose. If I have a valid concern or objection I voice
it. We discuss it. Otherwise I assume you have your reasons. I
mean... if choosing what I wear (be this a protocol for day to day or
just for during a scene) is part of our power exchange then I actually
made that choice, right?
"How do you deal with Him/Her asking you for sexual service that you
don't want to do" What? I talk about it. If I don't want to do some
sort of sexual act with You it is either outside of my limits (which You
would of course not expect nor ask for), or I have a reason (I am sick
as hell, for example) and need to share this reason. Are there secret
crazy sex things that these other subs get asked to do that I don't know
about? If so my feelings are hurt that You, my Sir, have not asked me
for such naughty things.
Again, taking this a step further, perhaps some of the posters are
referring to that lack of desire that can occur when a relationship is
not being maintained. This is not a power exchange problem though, in
my opinion, but more of a relationship problem. Such things should be
discussed well before the resentment and not attracted don't wanna touch
you stage, right? Right Sir?
Seriously though, they never seem to really struggle with submission.
They don't seem to ever wake up and feel non compliant, to really
struggle with the fundamental aspect. They don't seem to wonder if they
submit too much, or struggle to accept their need to submit.
I don't see posts on that moment of "FUCK YOU" when their Sir/Ma'am
orders them to do something that pricks their pride. I have not read of
anyone who blushes over certain indignities and has yet found a way to
gracefully submit to some aspects of being a toy to play with, clean,
poke at and inspect.
No one seems to be talking about how to deal with those hurt feelings
when play does not happen, or hurt feelings when one is corrected by
their Sir/Ma'am, or hurt feelings when You don't seem interested and I
need NEED YOUR attention.
Certainly I seem to be the only one that struggles with the balance
of submitting to You while still being able to ask for my needs to be
met too. The line between communicating and overstepping. I also seem
to be the only one who struggles with the idea of trusting you to not
ask of me what is not good for me, but not also not expecting you to
mind read.
Is submitting 24/7 really that easy for everyone else? That their
biggest problem is not being 'in the mood' once in awhile, or having to
do chores they don't like? Does no one else ever have selfish moments
when they want the type of play they want, or the type of sex they want,
or the flipping food they want? Days or moments when they feel
obstinate, stubborn or resentful? Moments when they wonder if they are
really doing what is right for them? For their partner?
NEVER?
Perhaps we are doing this wrong.. Or more to the point Sir, You must
be doing this wrong. Or perhaps I am not a twu sub... that having my
own wants and desires that sometimes feel larger than my ability to obey
makes me a non sub.
Or perhaps no one likes to admit they struggle with these things, in
case someone points at them and accuses them of also not being a twu
submissive.
