Lupercalia 2014

Lupercalia 2014 Report:
Friday, February 14
The Toga Party and Vendor Market
I was excited to see all my dear friends again! I really can't wait to be moving closer (or hopefully right here). I threw on different togas (I have two) and finally settled on one, pinned up some hair, chatting happily with one dear friend who was hanging out with us and also getting ready.
When we (Fyen, Firm-Hand-Buddha and I) headed down I was as excited as a child! This is my 4th Lupercalia event and I was hyper for things to begin. I chatted with vendors, explored the market place and put my name on a few of the silent auction items.
At the toga party I hear that slaves were auctioned off, I missed that part and arrived with FHB for the 'tasting'. The tasting amounted to several stations in which a person could have a taste of the activities within. The stations were: Electrical (violet wands), spanking, caning, needles, flogging, cupping, clothes pegs and whipping.
Violet Wand:
We joined the gaggle of toga clad party goers and started at the Violet Wand Station. Our demonstrator ran the wand on a high enough setting that I still have marks on Monday. He zapped my arm quite a bit, and my breast, and my stomach. To get the gold coin Sir agreed to be zapped. Electricity does not phase him, which I think the presenter took as a challenge, because he reached out and zapped FHB on the foreskin thorugh his toga without warning or a by your leave, much to my amusement. To be fair, this was worth much more than one gold coin!
To any of the newbies, or new to electrical play, please please know that this is not the only way to use a violet wand! FHB uses a wand, and he can vibrate, heat, sting or holy fuck with the wand. He bought his violet wand at Lupercalia last year and we have enjoyed it's usage quite a bit. I did not particularly enjoy the taste I was given, and in fact I have broken skin from the contact upon my stomach, and Sir has a vibrant welt upon his cock.
Still, all in good fun!
Spanking:
This station provided the opportunity to be spanked by one of two presenters. I chose Wiseman, as his book was the book that introduced me to so many things. He had FHB pick an implement (damn you for picking the tawse, lol) and had me kneel upon a chair and lift my toga skirt. I loved that he so clearly negotiated that he would be petting and rubbing with such seriousness then gave me increasingly harder swats with the tawse with much petting and rubbing in between. My dear partner was greatly amused by my glee in getting spanked by Mr. Wiseman. Sir refused to be spanked, and thus we did not earn a gold coin.
Paddling:
Sir chose sensation sticks at this station. This was great fun! The presenter was very respectful and sweet. Sir again declined to be spanked and I lost out on yet another gold coin.
Needles:
I am in no way allowing someone to put needles in my skin, unless it is for medical reasons. I am way squeamish, and Sir graciously allowed me to avoid this booth.
Flogging:
For those of you who have not caught on at this point, I love spanking. It was great to be at this booth! My dear friend was one of the presenters at this booth and when he saw me there he actually tried to get out of flogging me, and was cajoling the other presenter into doing it. He gave me the smallest of floggings, which was fun. Then Sir figured he could get a gold coin (to be honest, I pushed and bratted him into it).
Again, because Sir is a large man with a calm demeanor, he found himself receiving a rather harsh flogging. It was as if the presenter felt that my Sir's silence and gentle smile was a challenge. (It really isn't, by the way. He really is that peaceful) He had welts upon his neck by the time we got our coin. AND we didn't get a gold!! We got two silver!!! What a rip off!!
Cupping:
This activity kind of grosses me out. I don't like the way the skin looks at all. I agreed, however, for it to be done on my thigh. (so I wouldn't have to see). I have never tried this activity and was a bit worried. The presenter respectfully asked before touching me, and was clear in his intentions. Very nice!
I didn't mind the sensation, but I looked when I thought he had taken it off, and it wasn't off. The sight squidged me out.
Sir, quite enjoying my discomfort (he is such a sadist) also tried the cupping. The presenter tried to talk him into baring a nipple for him, but not a chance! I tried not to look but Sir insisted I pull the cup off, and it wouldn't. EWWWWW ... Just saying. Nice sensation, but I don't like the way it looks.
Clothes pegs
This booth was neat. I have had this done before, but some how a certain Sadist at this booth was able to pinch a little more with them than I had experienced before. When he ripped them of I was surprised by the marks. Sir also tried this and seemed ok with the sensation. The presenters were respectful.
We joined the line up for Whiping, but the event ended well before our turn. I was ok with that, as I had a date for my first ever whipping already lined up.
Toga Contest:
We were sitting, listening to the speech, when a lady came by and insisted I stand up. I was embarrassed beyond belief. My friends and partner were all laughing and encouraging me. I was directed to stand on stage and then blushed my way through the crowd testing of approval on the costumes the four of us up there were wearing. In the end I won a ticket for Luper next year! Thank you fellow contestants, party goers and nominees, that was lovely!
My dungeon experience is HERE

And that, my friends, is how I became addicted to the Whip.

I hid in the hotel room shaking with fear, apprehension and excitement. It was already ten minutes past when I had agreed to meet, and I still wasn't sure that I had the courage to go through with it.
It had been over a month since I had sent my timid request to @Rufrider to provide me with my first whipping scene ever. My dear Sir and I had met him at an EOS function where he had given us an impromptu lesson in whip wielding. We came away from the meet with a drive to explore whips more.
@Firm-Hand-Buddha and I had discussed this at length before I messaged Rufrider. We frequently play with others but.. I have not really bottomed for anyone else since we became partners. All my gluttonous needs have been well met. I have been over a few laps-but not for a scene, and certainly not for a session.
We talked and talked. We both felt very comfortable with Rufrider. He is passionate about what he does (whips), and he certainly has skills. More importantly, though, was how respectful he is towards us as individuals and as a couple. So, with that in mind, I messaged him and we began to work out an agreement for a whipping session.
Now that the moment had come I was panicking. Whips are one of those BDSM tools that can be used gently or incredibly harshly. I had seen some heavy scenes. I wasn't sure I was up to it. Firm-Hand-Buddha was patient, letting me fuss with clothing and hair, reassuring me and yet never pressuring me.
Then my phone buzzed, with a text from the whip wielder himself, checking to see where I was at. I took a breath and down we went. For some reason or the other I ended up in the Dungeon before FHB. I spotted Rufrider and headed over.
In the way of a safe top, he sat me down and prompted me to provide more info on what we wanted from him. I was so terribly nervous. I love pain, I really do, but...
Rufrider gently led the negotiations, making sure he had all the information he needed-not just the physical aspects (health, injuries, intensity of play wanted, safewords etc), but to be sure that he understood where our boundaries are as a couple. When we were done talking, he reminded me that he was also going to talk to FHB.
I have no recollection of what the two of them said, as I was concentrating on just breathing. We picked a cross, and away we went.
I dawdled getting undressed, and the two gents chatted while I did so.
Then there I was. Naked on the cross, with FHB on the other side facing me, his fingers lightly trailing over my lower arms and hands. FHB was be there to recognize when I was getting to yellow/red, as sometimes I forget to verbalize.
I realized, as Rufrider explained that he was going to start slowly, that he would be touching my back, shoulders and hair to connect, that I was nervous about more than the actual session itself-I was worried about FHB and how he would feel about how I would feel as someone else topped me.
I asked him if he was ok, and he gave me that Buddha smile that fills me with such peace and joy. With that smile I was able to let go, to trust him to look after his own ego and to just be in the moment of the session.
And then the whip touched me. The gentlest of kisses. And before I could decide how I felt about that, the return stroke. The dance began.
The whip would caress and I would melt a little, it would sting and I would writhe. The heat and tingle built up, the harsh kiss of the whip muted by the trailing caress as it left the skin-a caress amplified by my Sir's fingers lightly dancing along my skin.
The pain was not pain, really, but more just an intensity of sensation. It grew and grew until I thought surely I was going to have to yellow. Then suddenly there was a soothing hand on my back, a roughly gentle hand in my hair, pulling my head back.
Then the fingers on my arms again, the soothing voice of my partner, as the whip smoothed against my skin again, building until those kisses were light pops, then the light pops were small cracks, the intensity moving my body as I processed the sensations. As the cracks started my Sir softly asked me to color, I whimper moaned-Green, loving the waves I was riding. Then the waves began to pull me under and I opened my mouth the yellow just as a gentle touch soothed my back, kneaded my shoulders, fingers on my face, soft words being spoken, dragging me back into that lovely space where everything is pretty and beautiful. Those hands left me, Sir's hands returned to touching my hands and arms and the whip kissed my skin again.
I have no recollection of how many times Rufrider paused and then rebuilt the waves up. I know that at least two of those waves built me to tears and gasps, moans and groans, with each wave stopping just as I became overwhelmed, right up until the last wave.
The last wave was different. Rufrider expertly built that up until I was sobbing, my body desperate for a lull, and he said my name, he said it in a way that demanded an answer. He told me to stay with him, just five more. I agreed. Just five. I can do five.
The sound moved my body and Rufrider counted it out loud. Just as I was thinking four more was ok, I could do that the second crack sounded, and the intense sensation from the First Crack filled me. I cried out with the force of it, felt it from my toes to my scalp. My mind was going fuck, not three more, fuck not three more fuck as the next crack sounded and my body responded, the heat flooding me, the scream leaving my throat, the sobs wracking me.
But it was incredible, FHB gently coaching me, telling me just two more, as Rufrider called out the third and then delivered the 4th.
That crack filled my vision with streams of colour. My body filled with vibrations of pleasure and pain, everything so intense. So much... too much.. not enough.
Firm-Hand-Buddha, that voice that anchors me, the presence that means everything to me, calmly told me one more.. just one more, his fingers holding mine.
CRACK
The last one exploded across my back and through my chest, everything in my body tightened and released in this amazing sensation of pain, pleasure and heat. Then hands touching me as I sobbed. Voices telling me I did an amazing job, arms around me, mascara running, I laughed, I cried, I was high as hell, wet to the knees, and not room in my heart for embarrassment or shame as I hugged the two amazing men that made this scene so incredible.
Thank you, Sir, my love, for encouraging me and being so amazing.
Thank you, so very much, dear Rufrider. Thank you for your time, your respect and for taking me on such an amazing journey.
And that, my dear friends, is how I became addicted to the kiss of a whip.

How not to punish THIS sub

First off, just don't.
Don't punish me.
Ever.
As a spanko i get the allure of punishment. I really do. Some of my favorite fantasies are punishment based.
Hot, right?
The silly girl (me) does something ridiculous and her kind but stern (dominant, boss, husband, teacher etc) has to take her in hand and correct her wayward ways... Yummy as hell.
But the reality just does not work for me. The sexy stories are all about girls doing crazy things-driving dangerously, spending money they don't have, being embarrassingly bratty in public, playing childish and spiteful pranks... The list goes on.
Even as a child I did not do such things. I certainly am not going to start now. I make mistakes of course. I tend to take on more tasks than I can complete efficiently. I immerse myself in hobbies. I waste time on Fetlife. I forget to put a spoon in Sir's lunch. I get cranky. As soon as I 'mess up' and realize I did so, I feel regret. I think about what happened and I apologize to anyone it may have affected. I consider better ways to do things. I then learn, move on.
If Sir had decided to punish me for the spoon incident, I would have been crushed. Taking care of him is my favorite responsibility and he knows that I take this responsibility seriously.
Once I moved past being crushed, I would have moved on to being resentful. You see, spanking, corner time and lectures are beautiful things for me. They are magic. I love them-LOVE THEM! If those things were used with intent to make me feel bad, I would resent that. Not only do I not need a punishment to feel bad when I fuck up, but spankings (for me) are a happy place. I would resent them being tarnished.
I would resent him. I would be mining his words and actions for faults and mistakes, each one would deepen my resentment.
Punishment would not 'teach me' to be 'good'. Punishment would teach me to be hostile and angry.
When I mess up, we talk about it. If I need help to find solutions, FHB is willing to do what he can. I try to take responsibility for myself.
Funishment now... that is another thing entirely..