Sooo... you wanna be a rigger?

So, you want to be a rigger

by aropedeevil  

I love rope.
I love touching it, smelling it, rubbing it between my fingers. I love feeling it on my skin and I love wrapping it around yours. I have made my own jute, I dye my own rope, I do self bondage and I tie up all kinds of people for all kinds of reasons (but always consensually).
I have taught quite a few people how to use rope, and it can be very frustrating when you are new. We do not learn rope skills by memorization, watching, talking or reading. We learn by body memory.
There is no lecture that will teach you how to feel the ropes tension and know what to adjust.
There is no demonstration that will teach you how to make your bottom feel connected to you as you wind rope on them.
No video, powerpoint, book, diagram or workshop that will create a rigger.
The only thing that will absolutely build your skill is practice. Rope bondage is a body memory skill. Your body needs to do it over and over and over and over and over (etc) to develop the skills to rig with confidence and ease.
We need the lectures in order to learn about the safety and care required to rig safely. We need the demonstrations to learn the structure of different ties, harnesses and 'knots'. We need the videos to be able to check our work as we practice. We need those diagrams and workshops as our building blocks to learning.
After that it is practice.
Over and over.
Learned to do a two column tie?
Do it on everything. tie your ankles, tie a chair to a stick. Tie your hand to your thigh, tie , tie tie. Over and over. Then get a volunteer. Tie two column ties all over the place. Finger to a toe, ankle to a forearm, ankle to ankle, over and over and over. Tie their ankle to your wrist. Think you have it? do it again tomorrow, next week, next month. Over and over. When you can grab rope, close your eyes and tie it on any two columns, you are getting close.
Learned a chest harness? Tie it on your bunny. Tie it on yourself. Tie in on a chair. Get volunteers. Tie it on all shapes of people. think you have it down? tie it again.
Forgot a tie? Google it, relearn it. Tie it over and over and over and over.

Rigging A lovely man in Vancouver

I recently had the wonderful experience of plying my rope, over and over, on a lovely gent in Vancouver.  The dungeon there (in Burnaby, at Braven's for anyone who is familiar with the place) has an entire building devoted to rope.  There are hard points galore!!

I am finding that more and more my ties are simple, rather than the pretty complex ties I was doing before.

I wind the rope and the moment they seem helpless I want to do other things.. I want to move them and taunt them and hurt them..

Lucky for me this bunny was willing and new of my sadistic bent. 

This picture shows the tie.  I had him suspended, because then I can be lazy and make him spin as I reach for various tender parts of his body.


We played for a couple of hours, winding rope, then tormenting, adjusting rope then tormenting some more.  It was lovely.  We were both smiling after, although his smile was a bit more fragile than mine. :)

He is shy, so his face is safely hidden. 

From this angle, besides being able to see my satisfied smirk, you can see the lazy asymmetrical tie I used.  I really do not care for the traditional chest harness.  I find it hurts, I worry about the nerves on the arm, and it looks... wrong on most men.  It just does.

I loved that I could just tie him however, and the suspension was fine.. he seemed comfy until I started hurting him.

Thank you sweet fella.  I enjoyed our time.  It was lovely to be able to tie a male form, at leisure, and not worry about if the tie looked pretty, but instead focus on the energy between us, and to build the tension with gentleness and pain, pain and gentleness.. You are a wonderfully rope bottom!

And of course there are toes... When I let him down, we were working some pressure points and he kicked... so this was my solution.  i love toes.  Just saying.

Stigmas in our Community

To my knowledge, the Kink Community is the most diverse and accepting communities out there. We have people from all types of backgrounds and cultures, people with all types of kinky desires and needs.
Yet it seems we just simply cannot coexist without some sort of hierarchy of acceptable kink genres. Why is that?
Why is it that some who consider themselves 'spankos' believe that if you use a flogger you are doing BDSM and therefore are not a spanko? Why is it that some Sissy Maids do not accept DL's? That true Dom(me)s cannot every bottom, that true submissives cannot top ... The list goes on.
In the land of MKINYK/YKINMK can we not just accept that while we do not need to embrace anyones kinky nature, we very well can be accepting and understanding.
I love this community. It excites me that I can come here ('here' being any kink community, online or r/l) and gather information, ask questions, find mentors, share knowledge, meet others, find events and generally feel accepted.
I am aware, however, that I cannot share all my kinky adventures. I have to be careful who I share what with, as some of what I enjoy is stigmatized.
I try very hard to be accepting and even when your kink freaks me the hell out, I try to learn a bit about it, in order to be supportive. If you do blood play, for example, I won't watch, but I will help you find the safety supplies you need and be there to listen and encourage you to grow and learn and experience.
I think some people in our community have forgotten (or perhaps never knew) the pain of having to hide such a huge part of themselves away from the world. I believe we all need to check ourselves-are we as accepting as we could be of other people in this community? What group do we look down on? Then we need to learn about that group, to lessen our fear of what they do and be able to say, no, YKINMK but you are welcome here.
Not saying to accept anything that really truly goes against your moral fiber. Some things are just wrong. But if the activity involves consenting adults who are taking steps to ensure that what they do is done as safe as possible, then quit judging

SSC Meet and Learn May 3rd

I was fairly excited, as the winter had been quite long and we were long overdue for a community gathering.  With so many of the original group having moved away, however, I was not sure how many people to expect.

FHB was fairly stoked.  N had volunteered to be his demo for pressure points.  I planned on a rope tutorial to follow his presentation and of course we had something new and exciting... A surprise for everyone!

With so many people messaging me for the address I thought we might have a full house.  I find that many people, when they find out we have waivers and if you appear 'young' you may be required to show ID, are reluctant to attend.  I understand their reticence, but at the same time I have to ensure that EVERYONE is safe, protected and that we all are on the same page.

FHB gave F a ride, and N showed up shortly after.  We introduced them and chatted for a time.  At quarter after, however, we moved forward and presented our surprise.

This innocent looking device is a spanking machine from spankermachine.com  We set it up, attaching it to a rickety side table I have (not sure why I have not replaced that thing either, but...) and attached my shortest cane to it. 

N was our brave volunteer, and what a show!!  You can see in the video that the machine's clamp is rather lame, and that the implements keep dropping lower and lower.  But for the money it is certainly a great find.

I admit, I was laughing hysterically as N danced all over and the machine relentlessly continued to swat her.  I noted, with some mirth, that she stood there, never moving away-so all her jumping about seemed twice as funny.

Just as we wrapped that up and started the pressure point demo, J called to say they were headed over.  FHB happily redid the Pressure Points demo for J and then we did a toy share and chat for the rest of the evening.

Perhaps not as structured as we sometimes get, but it was fantastic to gather again! See you all next month!

Richards Day off F/m

Richard’s Day Off



She slowly opened her eyes, stretched and rolled over to wake Richard.


Only he wasn't there.


She quickly got out of bed, and grabbed a robe as she ran out of the room and down the stairs, sparing the clock a cursory glance as she went.


‘Six in the morning. Where the Hell was he?’ She thought, thoroughly irritated.


After making sure that he wasn't in the downstairs bathroom, or the kitchen she checked the garage. Her temper began to rise immediately, and she slammed back in to the house.


Histruck was gone. He actually went to the office, today of all days.


She was not impressed. He had promised that he would book the day off.Had been promising all month. Unlike all those other times, this time was definitely worse. After all, it WAS their anniversary, and they had made specific plans.


'Anyways,'she muttered darkly, 'what is the point of being the boss if you can't take one lousy day off!'


She paced back and forth as she thought back over the last few months. It had been, what? Three months since he had taken more than half a day off. Two cancelled weekend trips, twelve cancelled dinner reservations. One cancelled beach holiday. Hundreds of unfulfilled promises.


She understood that the office was busy this time of year, but this was ridiculous. Richard put in enough hours to rival ANY workaholic. Yous ure didn’t see any of his employees working on a Sunday!


He was the boss; he could take some time off if he chose to.


And that, she decided, was the real problem. He did NOT choose to. He did NOT choose to spend time with his WIFE, did NOT choose to KEEP his PROMISES!


Well this time there would be hell to pay!! She smiled grimly as she dressed, planning her revenge. Oh Yes! This time he would fully and completely understand what it meant to make the wrong choice!


*********************************************************************


A few hours later, Richard was still sitting in the office, crunching through a small pile of paperwork. He had made several attempts to contact some of their customers, but so far had failed to reach anyone. “You would think” he thought irritably, “That someone would be interested in their company’s well being!” He couldn’t understand such irresponsibility! After, HE put in whatever hours were necessary, working hard to keep the company solid.


He was well into his self-satisfied gloating when the outer door opened.


He looked up in surprise. It was very rare to have a customer come in on a Sunday. He was even more surprised at the vision that appeared in the doorway.


His WIFE! And she was dressed... differently. Thigh high black boots showed off her legs, as did the black mini and bustier. Good God! She looked more like a street girl than she did his loving, swee t wife!


In her hand she held a- What the Hell!! She had a crop in her hand!!


His eyes widened even further as she locked the door, then turned around to glare at him. "Uh, Honey? What in Sam's Hill is going on?"He stammered at her, completely baffled, and more than a little bit irritated. Didn’t she understand that he had no time for such impudence!


"Justa little reminder, Richard dear. Hopefully you will at least remember this one, hmm?" She purred as she strode towards him. He couldn’t help but notice how, well, determined she looked. How absolutely angry she was. Her high heeled boots clacked loudly against the floor. He immediately checked to be sure she wasn’t marking up the linoleum.


"Where are you supposed to be young man?" She barked at him, irritated at the way his eyes just kept getting bigger. By the way he just gaped at her, not truly understanding his situation. Well, he would understand soon enough, that’s for sure!


Theedge in her voice, if not the words themselves seemed to penetrate his shock, as he stood up to face her.


"Now just wait a minute! You can't talk to me like that!!" He blustered, his hands thumping down on his desk, scattering his paperwork. “Now look at what you’ve made me do!” he grumped, glaring at the paperwork all over the floor.


Ignoring his complaining, she walked up so that she faced him across his desk.Then she slowly reached forward to grab his tie.


Fora brief moment he wondered if this was one of those bizarre sex things, the kind people were always talking about. What was it called? Ah, Dominatrix! Then he found him self sprawled across his own desk as she yanked hard on his tie.


"I can’t talk to you like that? That is debatable Richard. I am sick of your attitude lately. You don't have time for me anymore, hmm?" She spoke coldly, as he sputtered and struggled.


The horrid crop came down sharply across his backside. He jerked, trying to stand up, only to choke wildly for a moment. Christ, she had tiedhis tie to something. He quickly discovered that any struggling resulted in rapid strangulation.


Justas he came to this conclusion the crop bit into him twice more.


"So much work to do, hmm?"


CRACK,SPLAT!


"Not even time for our anniversary?"


CRACK CRACK CRACK!


He held still thinking that she had lost her cotton picking mind, maybe if he held still she would give up on this weird game.


"Hmm,not very effective...Well, lets try this..."Suddenly he felt cold air on his now exposed buttocks as she ripped his dress pants.


"That is ENOUGH!" He roared, thoroughly pissed off. This was beyond bad taste in jokes. “You will quit this nonsense RIGHT NOW!” He yelled, frustrated by his own helplessness.


"On the contrary dear, we have not yet begun to discuss how thoroughly pissed I am" She lightly tapped the crop on his exposed buttocks, laughing throatily as he clenched in anticipation of the blow.


The she brought the crop down smartly several times in rapid succession,not even minding that he didn't make a sound.


Then she aimed a blow at the tender underside of his left buttock, and was rewarded by his cursing and frantic struggles to get loose.


She proceeded to bring the crop down, each connection with his vulnerable ass leaving a thin red line. Lines that soon became welts as she continued to demonstrate her ire with him upon his person.


After25 blows he began to make low growling noises as each landed, 25 morehad him moaning.


Throughout it all she continued to lecture him on his poor behavior concerning their relationship. By the time she was no longer angry his ass was covered in stripes that showed no sign of fading any time soon.


She left him there, the rear of his pants ripped out, tied to his desk.


As she reached the door she stopped.


"Richard.I have no wish to have to repeat this performance, so I suggest you get your ass home for our ANNIVERSARY DINNER. I further suggest that you start making our relationship a priority, not just work."


She opened the door, then turned back.


"Oh,and all you have to do is open the drawer to get you tie loose."


As he reached for the drawer, she sauntered out, laughing softly to herself.

It's jst a bench

He smiled at the sight of her, kneeling there, fully exposed for his pleasure. Her arms clasped behind her back thrust her tits forward and her slightly raised chin exposed her neck. Her knees were parted, exposing her cunt, and he could see that she was moist with need already. His eyes roamed over her, taking in her quivering flesh, her ragged breathing, her nipples that seemed to tighten as he watched.
He reached down, gathering her hair in his hand, slowly winding his fingers until her head was tightly in his palm, and he lifted her, bringing her neck to his mouth. He bit down on that tender place where neck meets shoulder, eliciting a moan from her.
He turned, still holding her head and hair, and walked/dragged her to the new bench he had built. He led her onto the bench, bending her over it and began to fasten her down. Ankles were secured, legs quite wide apart, then straps over each thigh. Another strap fastened her waist down.
He placed her collar around her neck, and that too was attached to the bench, in such a manner that her head was raised. He fastened her forearms and wrists to the padded arm rest, then stood back to admire his handiwork.
She was tethered, in doggie position, leaving every hole exposed. He grinned, and grabbed the new ring gag he had purchased. He carefully placed it in her mouth, then tied it securely behind her head and attached the points at each side to the bench so that she could not even wiggle her head.
"So, my little slut... can you guess what happens now?" he teased, his hands roaming her body. She made little noises, which amused him greatly. He placed an item in her hand, saying, "This is your 'red', press this like so.." his fingers showed her how to press the gadget, which elicited a loud and repeititive dinging noise, "and I will know you have hit your limit. Press it now, if you understand me."
She pressed the button, let it ding a couple times then let go of the button.
"Good girl!" He grinned. He grabbed her vibrating toy, and rubbed some lubrication onto it. He worked the toy into her cunt, then turned it on. She began to make little sounds for him, half protest half pleasure.
"Get used to it, miss... This bench is designed to hold such things." With that gem of information he snapped a clamp around the base of her toy, and adjusted a bar so that it would be held in place.
Then he adjusted another bar, this one with a small rubber cock, so that it was snuggly in her mouth...
"I want you to understand, my sweet slut, that each of your holes will be busy at all times, until I decide to take you off this bench." He grinned at her. "How lovely... every hole, just waiting for me to do as I please."
He moved around her again, and began to rub lubrication into her asshole, then worked a finger into her. He admired how her body trembled, her muted groans and moans as he explored her ass with is fingers, and mouth. Once her body was more receptive, he worked a butt plug into her ass, and fastened that to yet another attachment point.
With each of her holes thus plugged, he began to spank her, slapping her thighs and ass, pausing to grab her hair, bite her and play with her breasts. Once her ass was a nice pink, he grabbed a tawse, and began to work her flesh some more, each impact rewarded with more muted sounds and whimpers from her.
Then he grabbed the Hitachi Wand, and placed that strategically so that it would vibrate against her clit relentlessly. He turned it on the low setting, then moved around to her face. He removed the mouth dildo and before she could even gasp, slid his cock into her mouth.
He fucked her mouth, as she trembled, moaned and tried to buck, each toy tormenting and pleasing her as his cock stroked her mouth and throat.
He slid out of her mouth and crouched down, wiping her tears, and stroking her face as she moaned around the gag's ring. He replaced the mouth dildo then returned to her ass, gently removing the butt plug.
He lubricated his cock, turned the hitachi on the high setting, and worked himself into her ass, rocking against her as she clamped around him.

The devious man smiled as he flexed his hips, working his well lubricated cock in and out of her ass. "Such a good girl" he said, pressing his thumbs into the pressure point on each buttock, causing her to moan and wriggle. He could feel the beginning of her orgasm, her internal muscles clenching, her legs tensing, and he moaned at the sensation.
"That's right, cum for me" he encouraged as he rocked and thrust.
Her orgasm (and assgasms) left her mewling helplessly, her muscles clamping rythmically down upon him, as he rocked within her, the wand and vibrator stimulating her incessantly, the cock gag not able to muffle her sounds entirely as she tried to thrash about.
He continued to thrust and rock, smiling at her distressed sounds for a moment before he lowered the hitachi's settings. "No, my slut... we are not done yet" he teased her as he continued to fuck her ass. His hands stroked her skin, pinching, kneading, poking and caressing as he and the various toys rode her. Before long he could feel her muscles clenching again, and he picked up tempo to match her spasms.
Just as she came he jacked the hitachi back up to max and chuckled as her body responded, clenching and releasing, her mewls of distress and pleasure again rising in volume.
Her body continued to spasms, as he threw his own head back and moaned, withdrawing his cock and ejaculating over her ass. He could see her body continuing to spasms as he took a moment to enjoy his own release.
"What a good little slut" He murmured, watching the spasms abate, her body still trembling, her moans sounding panicky.
"What's wrong girl?" he laughed.."are things getting sensitive?" His fingers relubed her ass, and he pressed the butt plug back into place.
She moaned in frustration, body beginning to tense again.
"All three holes, till I am done, remember?"
She moaned again, piteously. "Just one more, that's a good girl." he fondled her breasts and then picked up his crop. As he watched her body stiffen and relax with the onset of yet another wave of orgasms, he landed a sharp swat to one thigh, then the other. As she moaned and wiggled, he layed two on each ass cheek.
He continued to beat her as she came, her body straining as she lay there, helpless and lost to the sensations he provided. As her trembling subsided, he reached down and wiggled the buzzing Hitachi, grinning as she again made stressed noises. He tormented her for a minute before finally turning it off. He made soothing noises as he slowly removed the various toys, his hands caressing her, whispering "good girl.. you did good"
He removed the O-ring, then began to slowly loosen the bonds holding her to the bench. He massaged her stiff limbs, then uncurled her from the bench and into his arms.
She snuggled into him and said in her most sated voice, "Thank you Sir."
He chuckled, "You are very welcome, miss."
She blushed, then giggled. "That is a mean piece of furniture Sir..."
"That?" he answered, "That is just a bench!"

How about bottoming from the Top? Hmm?

At a gathering recently I was asked to weigh in on the phenomena known as "Topping from the bottom".

It's a subject that has always annoyed me a wee bit, as i just don't see what all the hullabaloo is about. Wasn't it Eleanor Roosevelt who said that no one can have power over you unless you give it to them?

Often is seems to me that this label is used as a knee jerk reaction of disapproval to us brats who will do our equivalent of kicking Sir in the shin to let him know we'd really like some funishment.
Other people seem to be referring to a bottom saying "harder, softer, that wrapped, please no teeth" once in the scene.

Still others, a smaller group in my experience, also include a bottom who is clear about what they want in a scene.

To those of you from the first group... It is annoying, I am sure, to be Lord UberDomly Thunderpants and have your submissive glutton playfully brat you. Poor thing. If you are truly Lord UberDomly Thunderpants then you should be able to deal with this in an adult and leadership based manner. You could, perhaps, sit your submissive down and state clearly that you do not enjoy this behavior and it will not result in funishment at all, but time out. Or perhaps find out WHY your submissive is bratting rather than coming to you in an adult manner and stating clearly that he or she would REALLY like some play please. Or recognize that sometimes it is just fun to brat, and you could have fun sending them to a corner. Throwing the overused phrase "Topping from the bottom" is lazy. And in my oh so personal opinion, every bottom/sub/slave has the right to ask for what they need. Them asking does NOT force you to do a dang thing. If your sub is a SAM, (like perhaps I can be) and you don't care for it, again... Conversation. Leadership skills.

To those who feel that a bottom speaking up from within a scene is nothing but the bottom behaving like a Top, I respectfully suggest you hone your Topping skills. Or perhaps your pre-scene negotiating skills need work. If I am not getting what I need out of the scene, or getting something I do not need, I have the RESPONSIBILITY to say so. If you are bottoming to me, I EXPECT you to speak up. None of us are psychic. And Lord UberDomly Thunderpants? If you are EVER uncomfortable during a scene, you have the right to safe word and end the scene. So if you truly feel that your bottom is Topping, call yellow. Discuss it. Can't resolve it? End the scene, part amicably.

Done deal.

To those few who feel that a bottom negotiating a scene clearly is Topping.. Well no words of mine will help you. Good luck with that.

Perhaps someone can also explain to me why it is that we never hear complaining about those who sub from the Top. Why is it no one is assuming that some things that Tops do are actually submissive behaviors? Is it subbing from the Top when SirRespectful asks his bottom, "Would you like me to go harder?" Is it subbing from the Top when the bottom is asked to choose what implements? When the Top checks in with the sub to see if things are still ok? When the Top gets a buzz from what he/she is doing?

Is is subbing from the Top when Lord Confident Dom says to his bottom/submissive/slave, "I want to experience xyz, go grab the whatchamallit and use it on me."

My opinion? Not at all. But if we are going to shame a subby type for speaking up for what they need, or for trying to be playful and get playtime that way, it's only fair if any signs of respect, compassion, or desire for sensory play should be seen as subbing from the Top, no?