Tuesday 18 February 2014

And that, my friends, is how I became addicted to the Whip.

I hid in the hotel room shaking with fear, apprehension and excitement. It was already ten minutes past when I had agreed to meet, and I still wasn't sure that I had the courage to go through with it.
It had been over a month since I had sent my timid request to @Rufrider to provide me with my first whipping scene ever. My dear Sir and I had met him at an EOS function where he had given us an impromptu lesson in whip wielding. We came away from the meet with a drive to explore whips more.
@Firm-Hand-Buddha and I had discussed this at length before I messaged Rufrider. We frequently play with others but.. I have not really bottomed for anyone else since we became partners. All my gluttonous needs have been well met. I have been over a few laps-but not for a scene, and certainly not for a session.
We talked and talked. We both felt very comfortable with Rufrider. He is passionate about what he does (whips), and he certainly has skills. More importantly, though, was how respectful he is towards us as individuals and as a couple. So, with that in mind, I messaged him and we began to work out an agreement for a whipping session.
Now that the moment had come I was panicking. Whips are one of those BDSM tools that can be used gently or incredibly harshly. I had seen some heavy scenes. I wasn't sure I was up to it. Firm-Hand-Buddha was patient, letting me fuss with clothing and hair, reassuring me and yet never pressuring me.
Then my phone buzzed, with a text from the whip wielder himself, checking to see where I was at. I took a breath and down we went. For some reason or the other I ended up in the Dungeon before FHB. I spotted Rufrider and headed over.
In the way of a safe top, he sat me down and prompted me to provide more info on what we wanted from him. I was so terribly nervous. I love pain, I really do, but...
Rufrider gently led the negotiations, making sure he had all the information he needed-not just the physical aspects (health, injuries, intensity of play wanted, safewords etc), but to be sure that he understood where our boundaries are as a couple. When we were done talking, he reminded me that he was also going to talk to FHB.
I have no recollection of what the two of them said, as I was concentrating on just breathing. We picked a cross, and away we went.
I dawdled getting undressed, and the two gents chatted while I did so.
Then there I was. Naked on the cross, with FHB on the other side facing me, his fingers lightly trailing over my lower arms and hands. FHB was be there to recognize when I was getting to yellow/red, as sometimes I forget to verbalize.
I realized, as Rufrider explained that he was going to start slowly, that he would be touching my back, shoulders and hair to connect, that I was nervous about more than the actual session itself-I was worried about FHB and how he would feel about how I would feel as someone else topped me.
I asked him if he was ok, and he gave me that Buddha smile that fills me with such peace and joy. With that smile I was able to let go, to trust him to look after his own ego and to just be in the moment of the session.
And then the whip touched me. The gentlest of kisses. And before I could decide how I felt about that, the return stroke. The dance began.
The whip would caress and I would melt a little, it would sting and I would writhe. The heat and tingle built up, the harsh kiss of the whip muted by the trailing caress as it left the skin-a caress amplified by my Sir's fingers lightly dancing along my skin.
The pain was not pain, really, but more just an intensity of sensation. It grew and grew until I thought surely I was going to have to yellow. Then suddenly there was a soothing hand on my back, a roughly gentle hand in my hair, pulling my head back.
Then the fingers on my arms again, the soothing voice of my partner, as the whip smoothed against my skin again, building until those kisses were light pops, then the light pops were small cracks, the intensity moving my body as I processed the sensations. As the cracks started my Sir softly asked me to color, I whimper moaned-Green, loving the waves I was riding. Then the waves began to pull me under and I opened my mouth the yellow just as a gentle touch soothed my back, kneaded my shoulders, fingers on my face, soft words being spoken, dragging me back into that lovely space where everything is pretty and beautiful. Those hands left me, Sir's hands returned to touching my hands and arms and the whip kissed my skin again.
I have no recollection of how many times Rufrider paused and then rebuilt the waves up. I know that at least two of those waves built me to tears and gasps, moans and groans, with each wave stopping just as I became overwhelmed, right up until the last wave.
The last wave was different. Rufrider expertly built that up until I was sobbing, my body desperate for a lull, and he said my name, he said it in a way that demanded an answer. He told me to stay with him, just five more. I agreed. Just five. I can do five.
The sound moved my body and Rufrider counted it out loud. Just as I was thinking four more was ok, I could do that the second crack sounded, and the intense sensation from the First Crack filled me. I cried out with the force of it, felt it from my toes to my scalp. My mind was going fuck, not three more, fuck not three more fuck as the next crack sounded and my body responded, the heat flooding me, the scream leaving my throat, the sobs wracking me.
But it was incredible, FHB gently coaching me, telling me just two more, as Rufrider called out the third and then delivered the 4th.
That crack filled my vision with streams of colour. My body filled with vibrations of pleasure and pain, everything so intense. So much... too much.. not enough.
Firm-Hand-Buddha, that voice that anchors me, the presence that means everything to me, calmly told me one more.. just one more, his fingers holding mine.
CRACK
The last one exploded across my back and through my chest, everything in my body tightened and released in this amazing sensation of pain, pleasure and heat. Then hands touching me as I sobbed. Voices telling me I did an amazing job, arms around me, mascara running, I laughed, I cried, I was high as hell, wet to the knees, and not room in my heart for embarrassment or shame as I hugged the two amazing men that made this scene so incredible.
Thank you, Sir, my love, for encouraging me and being so amazing.
Thank you, so very much, dear Rufrider. Thank you for your time, your respect and for taking me on such an amazing journey.
And that, my dear friends, is how I became addicted to the kiss of a whip.

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