Tuesday 17 April 2012

so burnt out..

Exams.. What was I thinking?
Six courses, two more in intersession and another three over summer... I want that PHD I DO!!! but I am sooo tired.
So very very tired.Tired of reading big words.  Tired of typing big words, tired of citations, text books, power points, hard chairs, crappy coffee, no sleep, tutoring, note taking, tired of all of it.
And still short three hundred to pay for my next two courses... with no clue what am gonna do about that.
I need a temporary sweetie.  I need someone to cuddle me and watch tv, to rub my neck, encourage me to keep trucking, and hold the pieces of the house together while I am working.
I need someone here throughout the week to kick my ass into gear when I am on not focussing, to dance me around the kitchen laughing, to wake me up with good morning spankings...
Sadly though, I am not ready for a 'realtionship'.. I don't have the time, money, or energy to give to a partner right now.  I don't have the fortitude to deal with the dance of lies, the deception... (be honest people, the person you meet is not the person that moves in.. There is a morphing phenomena that happens when that first box of personal items crosses the doorway... BAM! no more sweetie, welcome couch sloth..) and perhaps I am still a bit cynical..
Sigh... Come here mr. frog..

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